IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

"The maps below show a science park in 2008 and the same park today. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant." Write at least 150 words.

"The maps below show a science park in 2008 and the same park today. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant." Write at least 150 words.
#maps #show #science #park #information #features #comparisons
The maps compare the improvement of a Science park in 2008 and today.
Overall
, the massive changes in green areas, public facilities, and research buildings can be seen.
Initially
, the wide
Grassland
located
Add a missing verb
is located
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the northwest
area
, and to the east of
Grassland
has
Wrong verb form
there have
show examples
 been offices and a reception in which the latter has been altered to
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 hub.
However
, all
Grassland
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 disappeared
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Research and development
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been erected, and a pathway has been added to reach each building. Interestingly, two big threes
are still existed
Change to the active voice
still exist
have still existed
show examples
.
Furthermore
, a
grassland
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the east
area
 disappeared as well,
whereas
 it has been built a big cyber security, but has
reduce
Change the verb form
reduced
show examples
 the car park
area
, located in the middle
area
.
Bus
Add an article
The bus
show examples
 stop
has been
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 located to the east of cyber security. For business units building and three
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
show examples
 which
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been located on the west and southwest, respectively, are still
remined
Correct your spelling
remained
reminded
.
However
, it
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 to the east of the three
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
show examples
demolished
Add a missing verb
was demolished
show examples
 and it has been used
for
Change preposition
as
show examples
innovation
Correct article usage
an innovation
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. To the south of the business units has been added cycle path
along
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
. The station
also
 has been erected
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the south
area
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words grassland, area with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼

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