Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

#species #animals #risk

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An increasing number of

animals

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opting to close to extinction has risen.

This

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situation has a number of reasons and preventives that will be discussed in

this

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article. One of the common reasons for the extinction of

animals

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is climate

change

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that happens around the earth.

This

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extreme

change

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in weather has affected not only humans’ bodies but

also

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animals

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This

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causes

animals

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to the inability to adapt, as the

change

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happens quickly. Another reason that leads to the death of

animals

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is the country’s ignorance. Rare creatures are often more fragile and they require specific treatments so they will be able to continue the descent, and the shadow of an extinction will slowly fade away.

However

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, if the country does not implement a solid regulation regarding

this

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issue,

then

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there is almost no opportunity to save scarce creatures.

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this

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situation will lead to another factor; which is illegal trade. Animal skin for businessmen is like an oasis in the desert; a prestigious material to create glamorous stuff. Not surprisingly, many species of

animals

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are almost extinct, because the cause of it is not only because of nature but

also

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because of humans’ silliness. Despite the obvious appeal, there are still spaces for people who want to save the

animals

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from the loss. One of the preventives is to vocalize as loud as possible to save the

animals

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from illegal plashing.

Animals

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as living creatures have equal rights as humans to live, and they deserve proper lives. People could start a non-profit community focusing on animal welfare. Another thing to do in society is to decrease climate

change

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as much as we can.

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, society can stop throwing away rubbish by starting to recycle or reuse things.

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, they can start using public transportation

instead

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of private ones.

To sum up

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, it is our responsibility as humans to defend the rights of

animals

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to live. Providing them with the best lives will lead to the balance of nature, and

this

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will save the earth in the near future.

Submitted by semangatbanget.s2 on Sun Jan 21 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents an introduction and conclusion, which is good. The structure could be clearer by adding more distinct paragraphs to separate the ideas, ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and fully developed idea.

Coherence & Cohesion

Main points are generally supported, but could benefit from more specific examples and details to make the arguments stronger and more persuasive.

Task Achievement

The response addresses the task partly, identifying some causes and suggesting solutions. The response needs to be more complete by ensuring all aspects of the question are fully covered. Make sure both parts of the task (causes and solutions) are developed equally.

Task Achievement

While the essay includes relevant ideas, they can sometimes feel general. Adding specific examples, statistics, or case studies can make the argument more compelling and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

species extinction
endangered animals
biodiversity
habitat loss
deforestation
urbanization
poaching
illegal wildlife trade
climate change
pollution
conservation efforts
legislation
enforcement
human overpopulation
sustainable development
responsible consumption
education
awareness programs
protected areas
wildlife reserves
international cooperation
collaboration

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Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

In some parts of the world tradition festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problem is this causing and what measures could be taken to counter this situation?

Being a celebrity-such as a famous film star and sport personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?