The rise of social media has affecred personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?
In
this
digital world, social media
has become widely used throughout all nations.However
, individual relationships and communities
in general have been influenced by social transportation. This
author believes that the benefits of receiving various news and bridging the gap between communities
outweigh the drawbacks of potentially being scammed on the Internet.
The major advantage of using social media
is accessing various news from different websites. By way of explanation, dwellers could know about all the changes around them by searching them on apps. For instance
, the last
Covid pandemic was a disaster for humans because it stole many resident's lives so people
were forced to stay at home for nearly a year using social media
such
as Facebook or Instagram was an activity which people
did the most Change preposition
of that
that
time for getting new information about the Covid Correct determiner usage
the
also
kept in touch with their relatives. Besides
, bridging the gap between communities
is the second benefit of using media
, this
is because several people
know about others' existence through social media
which is being used by many citizens so each person from a disparity nation has been connected together through technology.
However
, some people
spend so much time on social media
that led to isolation among them and their relationships. This
can be true but sometimes their friend can make a call with them through social media
to make them become conscious about the world so this
problem can be solved.
In conclusion, the isolation between people
and people
is outweighed by the benefits of receiving various news and bridging the gap among communities
.Submitted by [email protected] on
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coherence/cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph contains one main idea, clearly stated in the topic sentence. This will help you make your arguments flow more logically. For example, the paragraph about accessing various news could focus more on how social media helps keep people informed, with clear examples.
task achievement
Provide more specific, relevant examples that are directly related to the point you are making. For instance, when discussing the isolation caused by social media, give a clearer example of this situation and elaborate on how it affects personal relationships.
coherence/cohesion
Work on using a range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. This will enhance the overall readability of your essay and make your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
Expand on your points to provide a more comprehensive response. Your essay should fully explore both the advantages and disadvantages of social media and provide strong, clear arguments for why one outweighs the other. Include more detailed analysis and examples for a higher score.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
content
You have included some relevant examples and attempted to support your points, which shows an effort to make your arguments tangible.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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