Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health, others believe that government should make sure that their are healthy.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #responsibility #individuals #care #health #government

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People have different beliefs on whose responsibility it is to take care of their

health

While

some say it is the individual's responsibility, others believe it is the government's function to make sure its

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

are healthy. On one hand, it is true that the country is accountable for its

citizens

Change to a genitive case

citizen's

citizens'

show examples

health

. The state is responsible

Change preposition

for

show examples

making sure the healthcare system that it provides is working to support its

residents

Change to a genitive case

resident's

residents'

show examples

health

. It is on the government to manage the resources required for a healthy

life

such

as to ensure that the food and drugs

that

Change the verb form

are

show examples

being put up on sale

follows

Change the verb form

show examples

the regulatory measures. But,

this

is all only up to a certain level. Each

Change preposition

apply

show examples

human beings have different bodies

Correct word choice

and, therefore

show examples

therefore

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

its own unique needs for a healthy

life

While

the state is

charge

Change preposition

in charge

show examples

of the food and drugs on sale, it is in the individual's control to choose the meal it consumes. It is in the person's power to educate

itself

Correct pronoun usage

himself

show examples

about the measures it needs to ensure that he/she

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a healthy

life

To conclude

, I believe that each of us, and the authorities, both have portions in ensuring our

health

. Every one of us

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

the autonomy to pursue the

health

choices that we believe

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

best for our bodies, and the state is in power to provide the things we need for a healthy

life

Submitted by mataniaribudilumbangaol on Sun Jan 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure; use paragraphs to organize your writing. Make sure your introduction introduces the topic and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.

coherence cohesion

Develop each point you make with examples or explanations to support your argument. This will strengthen your main points and make your essay more convincing.

task achievement

Make sure you fully answer the question by discussing both views and clearly stating your own opinion. Your view should be easily distinguishable and make sure to explain the reasoning behind your opinion.

task achievement

Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to express your ideas clearly and articulate comprehensive, nuanced thoughts.

task achievement

Include specific examples to illustrate the points you make. This will help to make your arguments more tangible and relatable, enhancing the overall effectiveness of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

233 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
public health infrastructure
health literacy
wellness programs
fiscal policies
lifestyle diseases
universal healthcare
regulatory frameworks
socio-economic determinants of health
holistic health approach

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