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Band 7

The pie charts below show the proportions of visits to Ireland last year by age group, and by gender and type of visit.

The pie charts below show the proportions of visits to Ireland last year by age group, and by gender and type of visit.
#show #proportions #visits #ireland #year #age #group #gender #type #visit
The pie charts give information about tourist’s age group, gender and type of visit to Ireland for
last
year
.
Overall
, the proportion of women and men spent most of their time on leisure activities rather than
business
.
Furthermore
, the majority of young people or those who did not reach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
retirement age had the largest proportion of visitors . Now, turning to the details, the first pie chart shows that 45-54
year
 old people are the biggest group making up about 45-54 per
cent
 . Next , the second largest group are 25-34
year
 old tourists , who contribute 23 per
cent
 , followed by 35-44
year
 old people with 19 per
cent
.
Lastly
 , the rest of the age groups
ranked
Correct your spelling
ranged
show examples
 from 6% to 11%. It is obvious that
last
year
 ,
business
 trips to Ireland were more popular among men than women ( 43 per
cent
 and 40 per
cent
 respectively). The
business
trip
Fix the agreement mistake
trips
show examples
 by women received a very small proportion of visitors , compared to the moderate amount of men’s
business
 visits.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, business, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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