The table give information about salaries of secondary/high school teachers in fivr countries in 2009.

The table give information about salaries of secondary/high school teachers in fivr countries in 2009.
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The provided diagram depicts statistics regarding salaries received by secondary teachers in five different countries in the year 2009. Looking from an
overall
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perspective, it is readily apparent that Luxembourg offered the highest teachers' wages from starting to maximum.
Furthermore
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, Korea took the longest time in terms of
years
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that were needed to reach the peak salary,
while
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Denmark showed the opposite trend. In detail, junior high school teachers in Japan started off with the lowest revenue of 28
thousand
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USD
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per year but increased to 49
thousand
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USD
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after 15
years
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, before
finally
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registered
Wrong verb form
registering
show examples
at 62.4
thousand
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USD
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in maximum. Australia and Denmark,
on the other hand
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, showed a relatively short range of salary which peaked at around 50
thousand
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USD
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after 8 to 9
years
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of working.
Moreover
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, as mentioned earlier, Luxembourg's secondary education showed the first-rank
overall
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wage, which extended from 80 to 139
thousand
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USD
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each 12 months.
Nevertheless
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, the topmost salary in that city could only be carried off after a 30-year labour period. Taking a notably longer period, Korean mentors should take up an additional 7
years
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of active
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
.
Submitted by jelitasofiaz on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, thousand, usd with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual salary
  • gross income
  • net income
  • cost of living
  • purchasing power parity (PPP)
  • economic indicators
  • wage disparity
  • median wage
  • livable wage
  • compensation package
  • inflation rate
  • educational funding
  • professional development
  • currency exchange rates
  • teacher retention
  • standard of living
  • qualifications
  • experience level
  • tenure
  • collective bargaining
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