Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what way has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

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With the advent of the digital era,
technology
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has become a major part of our lives. Currently, individuals’ way of interaction has been totally changed
due to
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technology
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
However
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, I believe
with
Change preposition
that

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the advancement of
technology
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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has more downsides. In the section below,
this
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essay shall propagate the positive and negative of
this
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development. First and foremost, with the use of
technology
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, real-time meetups with family and friends have been fully substituted by the interruption of digital screens. To exemplify, prior to the digital era, children used to play with their friends certain games
such
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as hide and seek, catch me if you Can and many more.
However
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,
this
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not only keeps them physically active but
also
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socialized. With the advancement in
technology
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, I believe it has more downsides than positives. Online family time has entirely triumphed over the good old days when
people
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used to interact with each other without the quasi-meetings of the virtual world.
This
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interaction has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb been appears to be unnecessary here.

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vanished in the era of the internet and
technology
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and has been a combination of the reasons for distancing
people
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from each other’s.
Furthermore
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, even parents in the notion of protecting their kids by keeping them around them. Parents often provide comfort at home, unaware they may be raising anti-social, introverted children. Thereby, kids now prefer to play games at home rather than interacting with other kids of their age. In conclusion, different
people
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have different notions regarding the statement but, I have a plethora of reasons to advocate that
although
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

use of
technology
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
people
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's interaction has huge benefits.
However
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, the challenges it poses should not be overlooked to prevent societal impacts.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on building a more structured essay, with a clear introduction, followed by body paragraphs each focusing on one main idea, and then concluded with a summary or conclusion that encapsulates your viewpoints.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a more distinct thesis statement in your introduction and clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your main points.
Task Achievement
Develop your arguments further with more specific examples and explanations, highlighting not only the negative but also the positive effects of technology on relationships as the question asks for both.
Task Achievement
Throughout your essay, make sure that you are directly addressing the question, considering both sides of the argument and making it clear whether you believe the overall development is positive or negative.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interact
  • Social media platforms
  • Networking
  • Instant messaging
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional context
  • Superficial connections
  • Deceptive identities
  • Privacy concerns
  • Social skills
  • Video calls
  • Online presence
  • Digital communication
  • Cyber relationships
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