IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Atomic energy ( Nuclear power )is becoming more and more popular energy source. However, some people argue that nuclear power puts life on the Earth to danger Discuss both view and give your opinion?

#energy #power #source #people #life #earth #danger
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Now days
Correct the word
Nowadays
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 ATOMIC ENERGY is used for a lot of things and can be helpful and threatening at the same time. It is
also
 becoming really popular
also
, in
good
Add an article
a good
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 way and a dangerous way. Nuclear
power
 is indeed helpful in and used in many ways,
such
 as electricity,medicine, space exploration and criminal investigations.
In addition
, if there was
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of that energy
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society would be in big trouble. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 many lives depend on
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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 type of energy.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 it can be really dangerous. Meaning, that if the NUCLEAR
POWER
 is in the wrong hands the whole world may face severe consequences. The reason behind
that is
 that
this
 kind of
power
 can destroy countries and harvest
people
Change noun form
people's
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lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
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 easily. They are known as,THE NUCLER BOMBS and they have
bean
Correct your spelling
been
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 used before.
But thank
Correct word choice
Thank
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 god now they are secured by many countries but, still can be used and it would be a
world war three
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World War Three
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 if it does get used. To
summaries
Replace the word
summarise
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, I think
neclur
Correct your spelling
nuclear
power
 can be used in multiple ways
specially
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especially
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 if it helps the society But, it can only be controlled and managed by
professinals
Correct your spelling
professionals
.
Submitted by socialq8y on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction includes a clear thesis statement setting out the structure of the essay. Avoid capitalization errors and maintain a formal tone throughout your writing.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should restate your opinion clearly and summarize the main points of the discussion without introducing new information. Ensure it is distinct from the introduction.
task achievement
Support your points with more specific examples and details to strengthen your argument. Show a balanced view by discussing both sides of the issue equally, before clearly stating your own position.
task achievement
Be clear and concise in your ideas, ensuring that each paragraph has a single focus and that your reasoning is easy for the reader to follow.
coherence cohesion
Work on the organization of your essay, making sure to use linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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