IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The Internet will never replace traditional course books in schools. Do you agree with this prediction?

#internet #course #books #schools #prediction
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Some believe that the Internet is the ultimate source of knowledge regarding the majority of subjects. Others say that books can never be replaced by any means, especially in educational institutions. Being an IT specialist, I know the
pro
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pros
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 and cons of both points of view, which I will present
further
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 on, drawing a conclusion
if
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of
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 the end. Traditional books have
tought
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taught
 generations of children and have
prooven
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proven
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 to be an effective source of wisdom for pupils. The incredible amount of
information
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agregated
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aggregated
 in courses
though out
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throughout
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 the centuries is yet to be digitized. The best minds of the
world
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 have done tremendous work to create and preserve
this
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 knowledge and
siffen
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stiffen
in
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it
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 into
cources
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courses
sources
 to pass on to their
sibblings
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siblings
.
On the other hand
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, in
modern
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the modern
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world
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world,
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 the
information
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 gets outdated pretty quickly.
For example
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, in software application development and social media marketing the approaches used 5 years ago no longer yield optimal results. Traditional
cource
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course
source
 literature can’t remain up to speed with the constantly changing
world
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. And even if it could, it takes too much time to sign off and approve new material in Ministries of Education in every country all over the
world
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. Having said that, the Internet is often
critisized
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criticized
criticised
 over the
qality
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quality
 of
information
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 it contains. Without any form of formal validation,
if
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it
show examples
 could have false evidence and misleading facts. In the
worst case
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worst-case
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 scenario it could do more harm by feeding the young generation lies that they would take for granted. To
summ
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sum
 up, I stand for string validation of
information
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that is
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 presented to students in schools. And
this
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 is best done
having
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by having
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 the government issue formally approved
couses
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courses
causes
.
Submitted by fednastya000 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that expand on that idea with details, examples, and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay by using cohesive devices such as linking words, phrases, and transitions to connect ideas more clearly and effectively.
task achievement
Aim for a balanced discussion by presenting points for both sides equitably and concluding with a reasoned opinion based on the arguments presented.
task achievement
Integrate relevant and specific examples to support your points, ensuring they clearly relate to the topic and strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for typographical errors, misspellings, and grammatical inaccuracies that can distract from the message and reduce the clarity of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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