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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows changes in the proportion of Internet users in three different countries from 1999 to 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The graph shows changes in the proportion of Internet users in three different countries from 1999 to 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#changes #proportion #internet #users #three #countries #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates the altered ratio of network consumers in the
USA
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,
Canada
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, and
Mexico
Use synonyms
 in a decade.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that the percentage of
Canada
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 was
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the peak of its
periods
Fix the agreement mistake
period
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, and
Mexico
Use synonyms
 is in the
lowested
Correct your spelling
lowest
 trend
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
moments
Fix the agreement mistake
moment
show examples
.
To begin
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, the proportion of the
USA
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 stood at around 20
percent
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 in 1999
then
Linking Words
 its stability rose to roughly 80
percent
Use synonyms
 in 2009. Compared to the
USA
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,
Canada
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 had a significant jump from around 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to approximately 60
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2003.
However
Linking Words
, the
USA
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 and
Canada
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 overtook each other in 2005. In 2005, each country achieved their own achievement respectively, and almost 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for
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mexico
Change the capitalization
Mexico
show examples
 and nearly 70
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for the
USA
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 and
Canada
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Canada
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 had the largest consumption group of customers almost 100
percent
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 in 2009.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 was a second expenditure
of
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on
show examples
 the internet was close to 90
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and for
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Mexico
Add a comma
Mexico,
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 it just had a small
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of clients, just over 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words usa, canada, mexico, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • users
  • Internet
  • trend
  • fluctuated
  • increased
  • remained stable
  • growth rate
  • sharp increase
  • anomalies
  • economic development
  • government policies
  • technological advancements
  • implications
  • comparisons
  • initial
  • subsequent
  • consistently
  • peaked
  • plateaued
  • significance
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