IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Social media enable people to keep in touch with each other and learn about news events. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#media #people #touch #news #events
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Social
media
Use synonyms
 is able to make every person still
communication
Replace the word
communicate
show examples
 with others, and it is
media
Use synonyms
 to study
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
news events.
This
Linking Words
 essay critically elaborates
that
Change preposition
on
show examples
these
Correct determiner usage
the
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 merits of using social
media
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numerous
Add a missing verb
are numerous
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 rather than
demerit
Correct subject-verb agreement
demerits
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. On the
one
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 hand,
one
Use synonyms
 significant benefit of someone using social
media
Use synonyms
makes someone
Verb problem
is that it is
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 easy to still interact with other
people
Use synonyms
 in spite of the long distance. They are able to communicate without going to some places and spending a lot of money.
For instance
Linking Words
, children who are working or studying abroad can call their parents to give
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
about
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 their condition so that their families do not worry because the family knows the situation of their children.
Secondly
Linking Words
, another notable is each
Use synonyms
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
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easy
Replace the word
easily
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to obtain
Change the verb form
obtains
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 some
information
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 events. They are able to know the new and trending news that
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 them not left behind some events. Instagram, TikTok and Facebook are the best
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
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 that can be utilized to acquire some
information
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and nay, these applications can
also
Linking Words
 give
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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knowledge.
On the other hand
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, there is a disadvantage of using social
media
Use synonyms
 that it can make someone who
settles
Verb problem
lives
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 near
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
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 so far
.
Rephrase
away.
show examples
 Social
media
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creates
Verb problem
causes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
becoming
Wrong verb form
to become too
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 lazy to interact face to face, and they prefer communication with another person through that tool.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays, many youngsters call their mother via
one
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social
Add an article
the social
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medias
Fix the agreement mistake
media
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a
Remove the article
apply
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such
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WhatsApp
Change preposition
as WhatsApp
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 even if that time they are
in
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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home.
To conclude
Linking Words
, there are some advantages
from
Change preposition
to
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 using social
media
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as easier to communicate with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 who
leave
Correct your spelling
live
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 in distant
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 and easy to gain some
information
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 brings a detriment namely making
people
Use synonyms
 who are close
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 distant.
Submitted by fifi on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that you have an introduction that clearly states the essay question and outlines the structure of your essay. Also, make sure to write a conclusion that summarizes your main points and gives a clear final opinion on the topic.
Paragraph Structure
Work on developing paragraphs that follow a logical order, using clear topic sentences and supporting sentences that expand on the topic. Transition words should be used to connect ideas and paragraphs for better flow.
Task Response
It is important to cover the question from all aspects in order to meet the task requirements fully. Make sure your essay provides a balanced view and addresses both advantages and disadvantages equally.
Supporting Examples
Provide specific examples to illustrate your points. These examples should be relevant and convincingly support your argument, demonstrating your knowledge and understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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