Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not have strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

It is considered in term of
ages
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age
show examples
is not the main key
how
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to how
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people
will behave when it comes to
drink
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drinking
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, whilst
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others think that
legal
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the legal
show examples
drinking
age
must be applied to decline any worst
possiblities
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possibilities
. In my opinion, I believe that having a strict regulation regarding
this
matter is essential for
a
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apply
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great anticipation because
we
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we are
we were
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still responsible
over
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for
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the
underages
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underage
show examples
. On the one hand,
a
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apply
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clear policies about underage drinking will help to apply
a
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apply
show examples
strict regulations and
informations
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information
pieces of information
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about the high risk of
alcohol
. Despite the fact, most of under
level
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under-level
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age
still couldn't bear a huge
responsible
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responsibility
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.
In other words
, having a minor
drinking
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drink
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alcohol
will be a negative decision without
zero
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any
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advantage. The young
people
will experience potential
harms
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harm
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such
as health issues, poor decision-making,
an
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and
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addiction.
Moreover
, when they are supposed to be the expected golden generation but got ruined by the amount of
alcohol
's
ingridients
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ingredients
which slowly ruin their brains.
Finally
, other factors, the instability of drunk young
people
will cause them to create
a huge problems
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huge problems
a huge problem
show examples
like drunk-driving accidents. On
other
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the other
show examples
hand, the application of drinking regulation is not necessary because the young
age
able
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is able
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to promote a culture of responsible drinking from earlier, as there is no 'forbidden fruit' allure. In some cultures,
alcohol
is a part of social rituals and it is introduced gradually in
home
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a home
the home
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environment.
For example
, the youth will learn about the framework of safety before
drink
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drinking
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an
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apply
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alcohol
because it is
assured
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assumed
show examples
to be taught from home based.
Moreover
, the adults can
also
obersve
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observe
them about setting boundaries and responsibilities. In conclusion,
while
respecting cultural differences, having a legal drinking
age
can provide a framework for public health and safety. It can
also
help in educating young
people
about the risks of
alcohol
and in implementing social policies effectively.
Thus
, having
a
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apply
show examples
strict regulations
are
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is
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clearly positive to avoid any worst risk for the youth.
Submitted by sofinnovita on

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introduction
Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and leads into the main discussion points. While your introduction does mention the opposing viewpoints, it could be improved with clear thesis stating your stance.
logical structure
Improve logical structure by clearly indicating when you move from one argument to the next, perhaps through the use of transition words or by starting new paragraphs for each main point.
supported main points
Support your main points with more detailed examples and evidence for greater impact. Provide specific instances or case studies to illustrate your arguments.
complete response
While you have addressed the task, ensure complete response by expanding on your arguments and offering a balanced discussion before concluding with your opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on presenting your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Simplify complex sentences if needed and ensure that the idea follows logically to completion.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate specific examples directly related to the points you are making. Examples from real-world situations or credible sources can strengthen your argument and demonstrate a broad understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Legal drinking age
  • Underage drinking
  • Health repercussions
  • Addiction
  • Drunk-driving
  • Responsible drinking
  • Forbidden fruit
  • Social rituals
  • Public health
  • Safety framework
  • Risks of alcohol
  • Cultural differences
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