Write about the following topic: Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a ‘fat tax’ is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In our contemporary era, more and more people consume unhealthy
food
without any self-control. This
phenomenon brings negative impacts to both individuals and the
society. To be able to resolve Correct article usage
apply
this
issue more effectively, some think that the government should tax
unhealthy food
, but some opine that it is unjust and not essential. This
essay will examine both views and weighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
weigh
up
Change preposition
apply
its
merits.
On one hand, we live in a world where we get to enjoy our freedom. We should have the Correct pronoun usage
their
rights
to do and eat everything we love. If the 'fat Fix the agreement mistake
right
tax
' is imposed, it will mean that certain food
will be more expensive. Some people might not be able to enjoy their favourite Fix the agreement mistake
foods
food
as frequent
as they used to Change the word
frequently
due to
budget contraints
. Correct your spelling
constraints
However
, it might not have much impact for
the rich. Some people Change preposition
on
therefore
think that imposing 'fat
Correct article usage
a 'fat
tax
' is unjust and unnecessary.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that tax
is one of the most effective ways to resolve this
issue as individual
can feel the immediate effect. They will think twice before they purchase Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
the
unhealthy Correct article usage
apply
food
because it is more expensive than the
healthy Correct article usage
apply
food
. Although
the rich might not be affected directly but
they are likely to change their diet style too if their cycle of friends Remove the conjunction
apply
change
theirs. Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
For example
, if their friends decided
not to dine at Wrong verb form
decide
McDonald
because of their price, the rich will have to follow the crowd too. The Change noun form
McDonald's
governmnet
can Correct your spelling
government
also
organise health campaigns, but the truth is it will not be as effective as imposing 'fat
Correct article usage
a 'fat
tax
', as the public generally will not 'feel the pain until the fire is near'.
Therefore
, my view is that imposing tax
is the most effective way to prevent Add an article
the tax
a tax
illness
like obesity, high cholesterol, Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
stoke
and other life-threatening diseases. These diseases will turn out to be an Correct your spelling
stroke
enourmous
burden to the Correct your spelling
enormous
health care
system.Correct your spelling
healthcare
Submitted by michellehoon0924 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure introduction and conclusion are distinct and clearly summarize the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay should have a clear logical structure with well-organized paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea and be connected with transitions.
coherence cohesion
Main points should be expanded with specific examples and further explanation to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, providing a balanced discussion of both views and your own opinion, while ensuring relevance throughout.
task achievement
Ideas should be clear, relevant, and supported by evidence or examples. Try to delve deeper into the implications the 'fat tax' would have on society and include a broader range of perspectives and consequences.
task achievement
Include specific examples to illustrate points where possible. These examples will help in demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example