Nowadays, many people spend a lot of money on weddings. Do the benefits of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #money #weddings #outweigh

There is an ongoing debate about the expenditure

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show examples

weddings

and whether

this

issue is beneficial or not. My perspective is,

although

investment

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show examples

weddings

can have advantages, the drawbacks of it will foster the prons. The following paragraphs will discuss my assertion.

To begin

with,

weddings

can be remarkably beneficial.

First,

it can provide suitable opportunities for vendors which can lead to more sustainable income for a range of society.

This

means that there are considerable job offers with a qualified salary for

workforce

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the workforce

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Thus

, the community will face standard living

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

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with

sustainable

Add an article

a sustainable

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income.

Secondly

, having the perfect wedding can enhance the emotional and

psycological

Correct your spelling

psychological

status of the parties. In

another words

Replace the adjective

another word

other words

show examples

with

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spending

money

weddings

residents can gain personalization and memorable experiences which can evoke their emotions.

This

will result in

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apply

show examples

delightful memories that will

ecth

Correct your spelling

etch

to their mind.

On the other hand

, there are several disadvantages of huge expenditure on

weddings

Firstly

this

issue can have economic impacts on families and will worsen their financial status. In fact, spending too much

money

on a party will affect the livelihood of families and

make

Verb problem

cause

show examples

a huge debt.

Furthure more

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

this

numerous

Correct word choice

large

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amount of

money

can be spent on

other aspect

Change the wording

another aspect

other aspects

show examples

of life where it can embrace the development of

individuals

Change noun form

individuals'

individual's

show examples

lives.

For example

, buying a house in which residents will be able to settle their lives can be more essential than possessing a fancy wedding.

Thus

, since there are other important issues, the expenditure must be minimized to prevent debt. Despite the benefits, it can cause a huge debt for families and

shortage

Correct article usage

a shortage

show examples

money

for solving more important matters in life which can be severely challenging for both the groom and the bride. The

money

could be b In conclusion,

weddings

can provide job opportunities and make especial experience for individuals. etter spent on other causes. To what extent do you agree with

this

view?

Submitted by imaneslampanahiep on Mon Jan 22 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear position and outlines the points in favor of both sides of the argument. However, the final paragraph appears to be incomplete, and the summary of your position is not clear. Ensure your conclusion fully summarises the argument and clearly states your position.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured with clear topic sentences for each paragraph, but there are instances where your ideas could be more fully developed. Try to add more details or examples to support your points in each paragraph.

task achievement

While you do include some specific examples in your argument, they lack detail which could make them more convincing. For future essays, include deeper and more detailed examples to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

lavish
extravagant
nuptials
financial strain
one-time event
ostentatious display
matrimonial ceremony
budget
economic burden
social expectations
memorable
frugality
opulence
fiscal responsibility
wedding industry
consumerism
financial planning
cultural norms
debt
sentimentality

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Nowadays, many people spend a lot of money on weddings. Do the benefits of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays many elderly people live alone and this can cause a variety of problems for society. what are some of these problems and what solutions can you suggest ?

In some parts of the world tradition festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problem is this causing and what measures could be taken to counter this situation?

Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of the modern society. Some people think that we must return to the older and more traditional values of respect for the family and the local community in order to create a better world to live in.

in somes areas of US, Teenagers cann't be out of doors at night. Do you argree or disargree

Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading storybooks are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree