Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

Getting older for some
people
is worse
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others believe that it is an improvement in
this
current day compared to the past. From my perspective, I agree with the second statement that arising the old
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
indicates a development
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
of human lives, in terms of
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
and
supportif
Correct your spelling
supportive
environment.
To begin
,
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
reasons, some individuals argue that being old is totally bad. The main reason is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
older
people
in every country
Add a missing verb
are concern
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
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to unproductive ages,
which
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
should retire and have no energy to earn money or work again.
In addition
,
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as the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
result of
the
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apply
show examples
retirement and aging,
the
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apply
show examples
older
people
tend to be like babish again, and need somebody to
nurturing
Change the verb form
nurture
show examples
them. The second reason is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they
attend
Verb problem
tend
show examples
to become
burden
Add an article
a burden
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
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their children's
familiy
Correct your spelling
family
families
. It can be seen from the data in each region,
most
Correct pronoun usage
that most
show examples
of
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apply
show examples
families decide to bring their elderly to a home for caring
older
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for older
show examples
people
.
On the other hand
,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
believe that has
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
lifespan indicating a wealthy place.
Good
Correct article usage
A good
show examples
environment,
for instance
, is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
main key for
people
to
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
a long life.
In other words
, if the air is
refresment
Correct your spelling
refreshed
for
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
, it can help them to have a good inhale; if the earth is versatile for plants, it leads the old individuals to eat organic and herb foods which are better for their bodies.
Furthermore
, having
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
age
also
points
that
Change preposition
out that
show examples
the infrastructure of health in that region is well-managing.
Consequently
, individuals who have retired have
been not worry
Change the verb form
been not worried
been not worrying
show examples
about nursing care since their areas provide better management
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
health. In conclusion,
while
the older person has
retire
Change the verb form
retired
show examples
and cannot earn money again, their long lives have
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
good
Change preposition
to good
show examples
stigmas that
indicating
Wrong verb form
indicate
show examples
healthy
Add an article
the healthy
a healthy
show examples
place where
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
live.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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logical structure
Work on developing a clearer and more logical structure in your essay. Your points should flow in a logical sequence that guides the reader through your argument. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and this idea should be expanded with explanations and examples.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure you include an introduction and conclusion that clearly state your position and summarise your main points. The conclusion should effectively mirror the introduction, reinforcing the thesis and summarizing the main points of the argument.
supported main points
Support your main points with clear and relevant examples. If an argument is made, it should be backed up with evidence or a detailed description that clarifies the point. Avoid being too general or vague in your explanations.
complete response
Make sure to address the task fully, which means discussing both views presented in the prompt and giving your own opinion clearly. Each part of the task requirement should be addressed for a high score in this criterion. Ensure your ideas answer the question directly and completely.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for clarity in your ideas. Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and stick to it. Avoid introducing new ideas that are not relevant to the paragraph or the task. Use clear topic sentences to summarize the content of each paragraph.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant and specific examples to illustrate your arguments. Examples should be concrete and effectively support your points. Avoid generic statements and strive to give detailed illustrations that enhance your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • elderly
  • modern world
  • decline
  • physical
  • mental health
  • diseases
  • disabilities
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • access
  • healthcare
  • medications
  • lifelong learning
  • personal growth
  • social support
  • community engagement
  • positive aspects
  • negative aspects
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