Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words.
Getting older for some
people
is worse while
the
others believe that it is an improvement in Correct article usage
apply
this
current day compared to the past. From my perspective, I agree with the second statement that arising the old ages
indicates a development Fix the agreement mistake
age
on
Change preposition
in
quality
of human lives, in terms of Add an article
the quality
healthy
and Correct article usage
a healthy
supportif
environment.
Correct your spelling
supportive
To begin
, in
Change preposition
for
few
reasons, some individuals argue that being old is totally bad. The main reason is Correct article usage
a few
because
older Replace the word
that
people
in every country Add a missing verb
are concern
concern
to unproductive ages, Replace the word
concerned
which
should retire and have no energy to earn money or work again. Correct pronoun usage
they
In addition
, Change preposition
as the
the
result of Correct article usage
a
the
retirement and aging, Correct article usage
apply
the
older Correct article usage
apply
people
tend to be like babish again, and need somebody to nurturing
them. The second reason is Change the verb form
nurture
because
Replace the word
that
,
they Remove the comma
apply
attend
to become Verb problem
tend
burden
Add an article
a burden
in
their children's Change preposition
to
familiy
. It can be seen from the data in each region, Correct your spelling
family
families
most
Correct pronoun usage
that most
of
families decide to bring their elderly to a home for caring Change preposition
apply
older
Change preposition
for older
people
.
On the other hand
, other
believe that has Fix the agreement mistake
others
long
lifespan indicating a wealthy place. Correct article usage
a long
Good
environment, Correct article usage
A good
for instance
, is a
main key for Correct article usage
the
people
to having
a long life. Wrong verb form
have
In other words
, if the air is refresment
for Correct your spelling
refreshed
elderly
, it can help them to have a good inhale; if the earth is versatile for plants, it leads the old individuals to eat organic and herb foods which are better for their bodies. Correct article usage
the elderly
Furthermore
, having longer
age Correct article usage
a longer
also
points that
the infrastructure of health in that region is well-managing. Change preposition
out that
Consequently
, individuals who have retired have been not worry
about nursing care since their areas provide better management Change the verb form
been not worried
been not worrying
on
health.
In conclusion, Change preposition
of
while
the older person has retire
and cannot earn money again, their long lives have Change the verb form
retired
lead
Wrong verb form
led
good
stigmas that Change preposition
to good
indicating
Wrong verb form
indicate
healthy
place where Add an article
the healthy
a healthy
the
Correct your spelling
they
are
live.Unnecessary verb
apply
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logical structure
Work on developing a clearer and more logical structure in your essay. Your points should flow in a logical sequence that guides the reader through your argument. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and this idea should be expanded with explanations and examples.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure you include an introduction and conclusion that clearly state your position and summarise your main points. The conclusion should effectively mirror the introduction, reinforcing the thesis and summarizing the main points of the argument.
supported main points
Support your main points with clear and relevant examples. If an argument is made, it should be backed up with evidence or a detailed description that clarifies the point. Avoid being too general or vague in your explanations.
complete response
Make sure to address the task fully, which means discussing both views presented in the prompt and giving your own opinion clearly. Each part of the task requirement should be addressed for a high score in this criterion. Ensure your ideas answer the question directly and completely.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for clarity in your ideas. Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and stick to it. Avoid introducing new ideas that are not relevant to the paragraph or the task. Use clear topic sentences to summarize the content of each paragraph.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant and specific examples to illustrate your arguments. Examples should be concrete and effectively support your points. Avoid generic statements and strive to give detailed illustrations that enhance your argument.
