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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.
#tourists #caribbean #island
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The line graph compares
visitors
Use synonyms
 of the Caribbean
island
Use synonyms
 throughout a period from 2010 to 2017 on the basis of three groups.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that during
this
Linking Words
 period the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 soared in total. What stands out is that the number of people who stayed on the
island
Use synonyms
 overtook the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
stayed
Correct pronoun usage
who stayed
show examples
 on cruise ships in 2015. In 2010,
Caribbean
Correct article usage
the Caribbean
show examples
 was visited by 1
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
, and those who travelled by cruise ships consisted less than 0.5
million
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 figure,
whereas
Linking Words
 more than 0.5
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tourists stayed on the
island
Use synonyms
. Despite initial
fluctuation
Add a comma
fluctuation,
show examples
 the rate of people who came to
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
 through cruise ships dramatically increased to 2
million
Use synonyms
 in 2017. Between 2010 and 2011 the figures for passengers who stayed on the
island
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 steady
then
Linking Words
, increased to 1.5
million
Use synonyms
 and after two years, their numbers fell to a little under 1.5 but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 fell back to 1.5 in 2017.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 over these 7
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 total
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 saw a dramatic rise to 3.5
million
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, island, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
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