In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

The ageing population is a focal point of contemporary societal discussions.
While
elderly
people
could contribute to
society
to some extent, I would advocate that
this
demographic transformation could prompt a variety of social issues. One problem associated with population ageing is that healthcare spending may escalate dramatically, which imposes a heavier burden on individuals. Older
people
are prone to health problems
such
as heart disease, Alzheimer’s, and Parkinson’s;
therefore
, a country with a large proportion of elderly
people
has to increase its expenditure on medical services. As the government allocates funds to construct quality medical care systems to meet
such
rising demands, budgets for other essential facilities,
such
as education, scientific research and infrastructure projects, may face reduction.
As a result
,
this
might adversely affect a
society
not solely in the living standards but
also
in long-term economic prosperity. Another problem is that the productivity of the whole
society
would decline as the number of workers aged 65 and above grows. An ageing
society
normally has to raise the pension eligibility age to keep the pension scheme running,
thus
it is not unusual for senior citizens to stay in the workforce even in their 60s. These
people
,
however
, possibly struggle with cognitive impairment and other conditions which could impede their ability to process information and carry out work tasks. If they delay retirement, their poor performance may have an adverse impact on companies’ productivity and profitability.
This
can exacerbate the economic problem mentioned earlier and undesirably influence social progress.
On the other hand
, it is possible that societies can tap into the wisdom and experience of the senior generation. Having worked for decades, they have become experts in their respective fields and possess a wealth of practical experience, specialist knowledge and work-related tips that they can share with younger generations. Senior business managers,
for example
, often guide young
people
on how to manage a company and deal with complaints
as well as
queries of clients,
while
veteran researchers can impart their knowledge to young scientists on how to oversee and execute projects.
This
transfer of knowledge would not take place unless individuals have a prolonged lifespan to retain their posts. In conclusion, a rapidly ageing population could impose a severe strain on the medical system and reduce the productivity of a country. These social issues may have a detrimental effect on economic progress,
although
sometimes the wisdom of an ageing community can yield benefits for
society
.
Submitted by chungoc2001 on

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coherence cohesion
Continue to provide a clear introduction and conclusion as this structures your essay effectively. Ensure that your main points in the body are consistently supported with examples or data to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
To fully address the task, continue to balance the discussion of both positive and negative aspects as you have done. Try to integrate more specific examples that illustrate your points to make your response stronger.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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