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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe raising the price of fuel is the greatest way to address global environmental issues. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #price #fuel #address
Global warming is a natural phenomenon
occurred
Correct pronoun usage
that occurred
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 in some periods of time on Earth. Nowadays, humanity is living
a
Change preposition
in a
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new one
due to
 emissions of fossil fuels that are increasing the levels of pollution and greenhouse gases. Up to a point, human beings are trying to face these environmental issues by raising the prices of combustibles.
This
 essay depicts that statement
is
Correct your spelling
as
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 wrong and showcases more affordable solutions.
Firstly
, education is the greatest way to change emissions since elementary.
For instance
, environmental sustainability classes are taught in Colombia.
Thus
, most of the children are conscious about using alternative energy sources.
This
 method
secure
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secures
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in
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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future innovation and a green culture.
Nevertheless
, are needed quicks
fix
Verb problem
apply
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for old generations.
Therefore
, attractive promotions related to money are useful for adults.
For example
,
reduction
Fix the agreement mistake
reductions
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 in taxes,
as well as
 known carbon taxes, are economically viable by
mostly
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most
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.
In addition
, low costs for public transportation are commonly accepted, offering an efficient and secure
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 system,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 will reduce dramatically the carbon footprint.
The
Correct article usage
Last
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last
 but not
the
Correct article usage
apply
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least,
are
Correct pronoun usage
there are
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 benefits for people who use electric cars, e.g. Colombia reduces substantially costs
derivated
Verb problem
derived
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 from
electrical
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electric
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 automobiles. Tu sum
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, it
is
Verb problem
has
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 demonstrated a plethora of sustainable results in order to combat climate change.
I'm totally disagree
Change the verb form
I totally disagree
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 with the fact of incrementing oil's charge. I prefer investing in education and
acquirable
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acquiring
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 solutions for the good of incoming generations and natural ecosystems.
Submitted by natalyrau13 on

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Introduction
Ensure a clear thesis statement in your introduction to present your main argument effectively. This sets the tone for your essay and guides the reader through your points of discussion.
Logical Structure
Work on developing a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout your essay. Use cohesive devices and transition words to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly.
Conclusion
End your essay with a strong conclusion that sums up your arguments and reinforces your thesis, rather than introducing new ideas at the end.
Task Response
Fully address the prompt by directly stating whether you agree or disagree with the given statement, and ensure that each paragraph consistently supports your stance with clear and well-elaborated arguments.
Cohesion
Include a range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay. While you have used some cohesive devices, a greater variety can enhance the reader's understanding of the relationship between your ideas.
Supporting Points
Make sure to use specific examples to support your main points. While you have provided some examples, further elaboration and detail can help strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental sustainability
  • fossil fuels
  • carbon footprint
  • renewable energy
  • greenhouse gases
  • emissions
  • economically viable
  • public transportation
  • energy efficiency
  • carbon taxes
  • inflationary pressures
  • alternative energy sources
  • ecosystem
  • sustainable practices
  • climate change
  • economic disparities
  • innovation in technology
  • global warming
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