The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years

The pie charts provide data about the devices individuals in the 18 to 25 age group

use

Wrong verb form

used

show examples

to watch

television

in Canada in 2009 and 2019.

Overall

, in 2009 the conventional

was the most preferred

device

for watching

television

however

, in 2019 mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

and flat-screen

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

were the most preferred

device

Fix the agreement mistake

devices

show examples

for watching

television

. As can clearly be seen, in 2009 the conventional

was the most preferred

device

for watching

television

with 34 per

cent

whereas

tablet

Correct article usage

the tablet

show examples

was the least preferred

device

for watching

television

. The percentages of desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

and

laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

laptops

show examples

were pretty similar accounting for 18 and 20 per

cent

respectively. In 2019, mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

and flat-screen

were the most preferred devices for watching

television

at 27 and 26 per

cent

respectively. The percentage of

tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

tablets

show examples

was 19 per

cent

which was approximately four

time

Change to a plural noun

times

show examples

more than the proportion

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

in 2009 which was 5 per

cent

. The percentages of desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

and

laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

laptops

show examples

were the same accounting for 12 per

cent

respectively. The least preferred

device

for watching

television

in 2019 was conventional

Correct your spelling

show examples

with 4 per

cent

Submitted by tmargaryan2006 on Mon Jan 22 2024

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words television, tv, device, cent with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

185 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie charts
18 to 25 age group
devices
watch television
Canada
comparison
shift
preferences
mobile devices
traditional televisions
technological advancements
television viewing habits

What to do next:

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

write one or two sentences! Do you think young people are more or less fit than 50 years ago? (why/why not?)

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development? You should write at least 250 words.

In some countries, owning a home is more important rather than renting one. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is?

Some people think that spending a lot of money on wedding parties and other celebrations is just a waste. Others, however, think that such events are necessary, so spending money on them is acceptable. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.