The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years

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The pie charts provide data about the devices individuals in the 18 to 25 age group

use

Wrong verb form

used

show examples

to watch

television

Use synonyms

in Canada in 2009 and 2019.

Overall

Linking Words

, in 2009 the conventional

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was the most preferred

device

Use synonyms

for watching

television

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

, in 2019 mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

and flat-screen

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

were the most preferred

Use synonyms

device

Fix the agreement mistake

devices

show examples

for watching

television

Use synonyms

. As can clearly be seen, in 2009 the conventional

Use synonyms

was the most preferred

device

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for watching

television

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with 34 per

cent

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whereas

Linking Words

tablet

Correct article usage

the tablet

show examples

was the least preferred

device

Use synonyms

for watching

television

Use synonyms

. The percentages of desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

and

laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

laptops

show examples

were pretty similar accounting for 18 and 20 per

cent

Use synonyms

respectively. In 2019, mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

and flat-screen

Use synonyms

were the most preferred devices for watching

television

Use synonyms

at 27 and 26 per

cent

Use synonyms

respectively. The percentage of

tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

tablets

show examples

was 19 per

cent

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which was approximately four

time

Change to a plural noun

times

show examples

more than the proportion

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

in 2009 which was 5 per

cent

Use synonyms

. The percentages of desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

and

laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

laptops

show examples

were the same accounting for 12 per

cent

Use synonyms

respectively. The least preferred

device

Use synonyms

for watching

television

Use synonyms

in 2019 was conventional

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

with 4 per

cent

Use synonyms

Submitted by tmargaryan2006 on Mon Jan 22 2024

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words television, tv, device, cent with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

185 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie charts
18 to 25 age group
devices
watch television
Canada
comparison
shift
preferences
mobile devices
traditional televisions
technological advancements
television viewing habits

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

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