IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Living in country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In
the
Correct article usage
a
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 world where globalization becoming common, some people try to seek
opportunity
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opportunities
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 and
living
Wrong verb form
live
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 in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 foreign
country
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 either
for
Change preposition
to
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 study or work.
This
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 phenomenon can
cause
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 social
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issue
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issues
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as well as
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 practical
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issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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 for
someone
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 who just
try
Change the verb form
tries
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 to live abroad for the first time. Personally, I agree that living in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 foreign land can have several
weakness
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weaknesses
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due to
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 several
point
Change to a plural noun
points
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 discussed below
First,
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reside
Wrong verb form
residing
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on
Change preposition
in
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Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
a country
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 where you have to speak on different
language
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 can
cause
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 cultural problems. Most of the
language
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 of a
country
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 has a deep connection with its culture and tradition. When
someone
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try
Change the verb form
tries
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 to speak another
language
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 without
consider
Change the verb form
considering
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 the culture behind it, sometimes it can
cause
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 a misunderstanding. Nodding,
for instance
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, in some countries it means ‘no’,
while
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 in other countries it means ‘yes’.
In addition
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, people with different
background
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backgrounds
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 can interpret the same thing with different
perspective
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perspectives
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.
For example
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, hugging can be a way to express your closeness with
someone
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. In several countries, it can be only done to your family,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
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 in other parts of the world, you can do it with
someone
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 you just met.
Second,
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living
on
Change preposition
in
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foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
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 land
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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 your daily
lives
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life
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. Most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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, when
someone
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 just moved to another
country
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, it is very hard for them to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
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 the new situation. It can
cause
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 several issues
such
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 as changes in daily
habit
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habits
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 and changes in how to interact with people etc.
In addition
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, personal problems can arise from
this
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 case like homesickness.
To sum up
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, living in a
country
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 where it has
different
Add an article
a different
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language
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 than your own can
cause
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 cultural
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issue
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issues
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 and
cause
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change
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changes
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 in your daily lives.
However
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, I do believe that all those
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issue
Change the determiner
issues
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 will be diminished as time
gone
Wrong verb form
goes
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 by as
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 have the ability to adapt.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, but you could be more explicit in your paragraphing to improve logical flow between ideas. Consider using stronger topic sentences and clearer transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, they could be strengthened. The introduction should explicitly state your thesis, and the conclusion should restate your main points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each of your main points is supported by specific examples or evidence. Your current supporting details are somewhat general or vague.
task achievement
You've addressed the task partially but should develop your arguments fully to cover all parts of the question. Your response could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the degree to which you agree or disagree.
task achievement
Strive for clearer development of your ideas throughout the essay. Expand on how exactly the language and cultural issues manifest and why they are significant.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant, specific examples to strengthen your arguments. These can be from your own experience, observations, or other credible sources.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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