In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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In many countries, it is common for
children
to be told anything is possible if they set their mind to it.
This
essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
this
message. Some people benefit from a positive emphasis on effort and achievement since every child is encouraged to pursue their dreams, no matter how aspirational and unrealistic. Those who succeed serve as role models and evidence the efficacy of pushing
children
to try to achieve anything.
For example
, the number of successful entrepreneurs and artists who have left their mark globally
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
the U.S.A. is staggering and includes figures like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Michael Jackson, Warren Buffet, and Will Smith.
However
, the cases above are exceptions and considering them the rule only hurts the self-esteem of the general populace. When an individual is told they can accomplish anything through sheer determination and they
then
fail to become rich and successful, they have no one to blame but themselves. The truth about the connection between effort and achievement is more nuanced than the platitude typically supplied to
children
. There is a complex interplay between talent, effort, and luck required to produce great achievements and all high-achievers are subject to determining factors beyond simply hard work. In conclusion,
while
teaching
children
that hard work ensures achievement produces great individuals.
However
, it breeds insecurity.
Submitted by shafatriviaa on

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introduction
Make sure to provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction which explicitly states the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss.
main points
When presenting your main points, ensure each one is fully developed with specific examples and explanations to support them.
paragraphing
Include a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader on the specific point you will be discussing.
linking
Improve cohesion by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas both within and between paragraphs.
conclusion
Closing the conclusion with a restatement of your overall viewpoint can provide a stronger final thought in your essay.
task response
A more explicit exploration of the task question would enhance your task achievement score. Make sure to analyze both sides of the issue directly and equally.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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