In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college , University or even after finding a job. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?
In recent years, more and more house rent fees have been raised.
For
this
reason, individuals
tend to live with their parents
in some countries. I think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
There are some benefits if people
live with their parents
. First of all, individuals
can save more money
than people
who live alone. This
is because people
do not need to spend money
on rent fees or utility fees. Moreover
, people
can enjoy their life more without any stress from using money
. Besides
, it is very hard to keep in touch with parents
frequently because of the hard work for their livelihood in contemporary society. While
if individuals
live with their parents
, they can get plenty of time with their family like eating dinner together and talking to each other. It is more important to have a relationship with their parents
than other things.
Meanwhile, we do not miss it can bring about some disadvantages. If some people
who already have a job or graduated from college live with their parents
, individuals
might miss the opportunity to learn about independence. Generally, when people
live alone, they can learn realistic life. This
is because when people
have a problem at home, they should deal with the problem by themselves. Individuals
can learn how to survive themself automatically. Plus, adults who live with their parents
, since their parents
still sort out problems on their behalf, do not have a well-developed sense of independence and responsibility.
In conclusion, modern people
can get financial burden
more easily than in the past. Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
Although
people
who live alone can enjoy their free time without any nags from their parents
, but
they can save more Remove the conjunction
apply
money
when they live with their parents
. It makes people
can get
less Verb problem
apply
stress
. Replace the word
stressed
However
, for their responsibility
the Add a comma
responsibility,
parents
should teach to
them about it.Change preposition
apply
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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure you have a clear introduction that paraphrases the question and outlines the argument. Your conclusion should restate your position summarising key points. Aim for a more distinct separation between the introduction, body and conclusion.
Coherence
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the logical flow of your essay. Aim to clearly delineate paragraphs and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
Cohesion
Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that indicates what the paragraph will be about. Further develop your supporting points with more detailed examples and explanations.
Task Response
Be sure to address both advantages and disadvantages equally to fully respond to the prompts. Develop your argument with specific examples instead of general statements to strengthen your task achievement score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.