More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reason for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Today, we can see the trend that the
number
of endangered animals is increasing. Unfortunately, there are many species which are on the verge of extinction. In
this
essay, I am planning to spotlight some reasons for
this
and try to find solutions to prevent
further
extinction. I
am wholeheartedly believe
Change the verb form
wholeheartedly believe
show examples
, that a human being plays the most essential role in
described
Add an article
the described
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situation.
One
of the common reasons is the unresponsibility of an individual towards the environment. We should take care of our planet and surroundings.
For example
, deforestation could lead to
extinction
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the extinction
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of many kinds of animals
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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live there. Needless to say, the blame for poaching
also
lies with people. It is a well-known fact, that there is a certain food chain in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
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, when the decreased
number
of
one
species' type could lead to
decreasing
Replace the word
a decrease in
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the
number
of another animal's kind
,
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apply
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if the former type is
a food
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food
a portion of food
show examples
for the latter
one
.
Hence
, we should not forget about
this
, and do our best to maintain a natural balance.
For instance
, reservations for numerous endangered animals
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a necessity today.
In addition
, it is crucial to foster responsibility in children via
educational
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the educational
show examples
system and involve them in various volunteer works
such
as feeding birds in winter
,
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apply
show examples
and making small feeders for them. Another huge reason is climate
changes
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change
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. Again, I am convinced that it is in our power to make a
number
of preventative works. As an example, if people prefer public transportation to private cars, it would affect positively
on
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apply
show examples
air
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
,
one
of the reasons
of
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for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming. In conclusion, we are responsible for our actions, we could change the situation
drustically
Correct your spelling
drastically
and save our younger brothers
,
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apply
show examples
if we want. We should not forget about our common home where each
of
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apply
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creature has
the
Correct article usage
an
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equal right
on
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to
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life.
Submitted by ruben.kirakosyan on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that transitions between these ideas are smooth, making sure each idea flows to the next. Using a variety of transition words and phrases can help with this.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, they could be strengthened by directly responding to the task prompt and summarizing your main points more clearly in the conclusion. Avoid introducing new ideas here.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported but some ideas need more development or specific examples. To improve, make sure that each point you raise is expanded upon with specific details or examples that directly relate to the topic.
task achievement
Address the task more fully by expanding on the reasons and solutions. While you touch on important points, ensure you elaborate sufficiently on each to fully develop your argument. Make sure you answer all parts of the prompt completely.
task achievement
Try to make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive by elaborating on them with explanations and examples. Aim for clarity in each argument you make and avoid vague statements that could confuse the reader.
task achievement
To score higher on relevant, specific examples, ensure that you use real-world examples or hypothetical situations that could apply to the main points you've mentioned. These need to be directly related to the issue of animal extinction and the actions that can be taken.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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