IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Today food travel thousand of mile from farmers to consumers. Why is it so? It is a positive or negative development?

#food #travel #thousand #mile #farmers #consumers #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays the phenomenon of the
food
 trade is becoming a heated debate in which people can try
food
 from other places of the world which in my view can be a plus which I want to explain throughout
this
 essay. In the realm of the economy and
due to
 the geographical situation some ground is not suitable for some
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
show examples
 so the native ones have to import that special type of
food
 from other places.
For example
, Iran is a dry land so it would be a perfect plan to bring our needs in the field of agriculture from other countries;
otherwise
 , we may face significant trouble,like drought , deforestation and air pollution. From a social standpoint by limiting agriculture people will start to plan to have a better job than becoming a farmer so it would be a perfect governmental policy to make the citizen start
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more profitable careers and
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
 job opportunities,inasmuch as barely can people live a pleasant life by just working on the ground so it would be an excellent plan to import
food
 from other places in order try not to be dependent to agriculture. In conclusion, on the one hand for preventing our land from deforestation and lots of other problems and
also
on the other hand
, lots of job
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 will appear.
Submitted by sajad.bazdar.2012 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical organization of your essay. Begin with an introductory paragraph that outlines the topics you will discuss, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on one main idea with appropriate supporting details. Conclude with a paragraph summarizing your main points and restating your position.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clearly identifiable and address the task prompt. The introduction should include a thesis statement that indicates your position on the topic, while the conclusion should restate this position and the main arguments supporting it.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with detailed support. Include specific examples or evidence and explanations to demonstrate how they relate to the topic. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and be cohesively linked to the rest of the essay.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task prompt thoroughly. Your essay should answer the questions posed, present a clear opinion on whether the development is positive or negative, and explain why with relevant reasons.
task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas to thoroughly explore the topic. Make sure your essay consistently maintains focus on the implications and effects of long-distance food transport, as stated in the task prompt.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your point of view. These examples should directly relate to the topic and clearly illustrate your arguments regarding the positive or negative aspects of the food trade.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: