People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #freedom #work #world #development #communication #technology #transportation

In these times, evolutions in communication technology and transportation have provided humanity with huge freedom to live and

work

anywhere.

This

essay will discuss whether the advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages. The first advantage to notice is that

such

innovations became extremely important in society because they impact on state’s economic condition.

Due to

this

urbanization and development countries have colossal economic gains.

Moreover

, these

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

opportunities allow individuals to

work

remotely and provide flexibility in choosing the place they wish to live in.

Such

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of possibilities improve the balance between

work

and life, allowing the city residents

experience

Fix the infinitive

to experience

show examples

a strong sense of job and life satisfaction.

On the other hand

, these innovations have

also

some negative aspects.

First

Change the article

The first

show examples

disadvantage to talk about is the strain on relationships because of

absence

Add an article

the absence

an absence

show examples

of physical presence. Close people can find non-attendance challenging and

as a result

it may cause mental problems

such

as loneliness and even depression. One more thing to consider is the consistent dependence on gadgets. A long time spent on a mobile device usually leads to addiction, and

this

dependence may contribute to some serious health issues

such

as visual impairment and loss of concentration,

as a result

. In conclusion, the freedom to live and

work

anywhere in the world because of the development of communication technology and transportation has numerous benefits for the economy of countries and

balanced

Correct article usage

the balanced

show examples

lives of individuals. Despite

this

Add a comma

this,

show examples

the strains on relationships and health problems show the need

Change preposition

for

show examples

balanced use. All the negative aspects are solvable by using the advantages and balancing them properly wherever possible.

Submitted by aakbarov2010 on Tue Jan 23 2024

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Expand upon your main points with more specific examples. While the general ideas are clear, including real-world examples or case studies can enhance the credibility and depth of your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on developing richer transitions between ideas to improve the smooth flow of your essay. Cohesive devices such as conjunctions, pronouns, and lexical phrases can help to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

While your essay has an introduction and conclusion, consider making them more impactful by adding a stronger thesis statement in the introduction and a more reflective final comment in the conclusion that encapsulates your argument fully.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

communication technology
transportation
advantages
disadvantages
freedom
work and live
development
increased job opportunities
flexibility
work-life balance
cultural exposure
diversity
economic growth
globalization
social isolation
loneliness
loss of community
sense of belonging
expensive cost of living
housing
strain on infrastructure
resources

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People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people think that it is good to spend money on finding life on other planets, while others believe it is a waste and governments should focus on problems on the earth. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Other believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Some people think the best way to solve the traffic congestions in cities is to provide free public transports for 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?