thw two pie charts show online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.

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The following pie charts illustrate the cyberspace purchasing for commerce sectors in Canada in the 5-year period of time from 2005 and 2010. Looking from an

overall

Linking Words

perspective, it is readily apparent that the retail sectors to increase were video games and food and beverage,

on the other hand

Linking Words

, electronics, appliance, and home furnishings decreased over the given period.

According to

Linking Words

the figure, video games accounted for just under a fifth to go up by 5 per

cent

Use synonyms

in 2010.

Likewise

Linking Words

, food and beverage comprised 22 per

cent

Use synonyms

at first to climb considerably by exactly 10 per

cent

Use synonyms

in the end. As for remaining, electronics and appliances made up just over a third which

then

Linking Words

fell by a mere 5 per

cent

Use synonyms

in the

last

Linking Words

year of the graph.

Lastly

Linking Words

, home furnishings took up precisely a quarter in the beginning, and went down significantly by a tenth in the final year surveyed.

Submitted by Zolboo on Tue Jan 23 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "go up" was used 2 times.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

152 words

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thw two pie charts show online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.

Some employers are giving more value on hiring people with good social skills apart from good qualifications. Do yiu agree or disagree that social skills are just as crucial as good qulification for success work?

Some people think that charity organizations should only offer help to people of their own country. But others believe that these organizations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

As a result of deforestation and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered and some are even facing extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What can be done to deal with this problem?