The topic of renewable energy is widely discussed these days. What are the main reasons behind the increasing use of renewable energy sources, and is this trend a positive or negative development for the environment?

Belonging the
qucik
Correct your spelling
quick
development of
teachnology
Correct your spelling
technology
,
people
use
more and more
energy
these days. No matter transportation, home or workplace, the
use
of
energy
is needed.
For example
, when we take the tram, the lighting, the air
cnditioner
Correct your spelling
conditioner
even the tram itself, both need to
use
energry
Correct your spelling
energy
. To maintain our life quality, we need to maintain the
engry
Correct your spelling
energy
supply. And now, more and more
people
are discussing using renewable
engry
Correct your spelling
energy
angry
rather than
tranditional
Correct your spelling
traditional
unrenewable
ergry
Correct your spelling
energy
, which is
prodcued
Correct your spelling
produced
by
oil
. The main reason why
people
encourage
Wrong verb form
are encouraged
show examples
to increase the
use
of renewable
energy
is reducing pollution. As I mentioned in the first paragraph, the most part of
energy
people
use
day by day
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
producing
Wrong verb form
produced
show examples
by
oil
.
However
,
oil
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
not the thing that can be get in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
easy way.
Oil
has been
storaged
Correct your spelling
stored
under
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
, if
people
want to get it, they have to damage the ground and affect the underground water. During the process, the ground and underground water will be polluted, Which means the species around that area will be affected. Using
oil
to be the
enegry suppliment
Correct your spelling
energy supplement
also
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air pollution. It is because
oil
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to be extracted by at least ten
process
Change to a plural noun
processes
show examples
to make it
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
gas, these
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
will
creates
Change the verb form
create
show examples
lots of CO2 and toxic gases to pollute the air.
Last
but not least,
people
believe that using renewable
energy
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
controlling
Wrong verb form
control
show examples
the
wraming
Correct your spelling
warming
framing
effect and save
species
Change noun form
species'
specy's
show examples
lives. The gases that
created
Add a missing verb
are created
show examples
by producing
tranditional
Correct your spelling
traditional
energy
actully
Correct your spelling
actually
are the main
green-house
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
show examples
gases, which
cause
Wrong verb form
have caused
show examples
the
earth
Change noun form
earth's
show examples
temputure
Correct your spelling
temperature
become
Add the particle
to become
show examples
higher and higher
this
decade. So
spicies
Correct your spelling
species
like
polly
Change the capitalization
Polly
show examples
bear can not settle with
this
kind of high
temputureso
Correct your spelling
temptress
their number is decreasing fast nowadays.
Therefore
, for saving the
spicies
Correct your spelling
species
in the earth, renewable
energry
Correct your spelling
energy
should be used more and more. The big
adventage
Correct your spelling
advantage
of using renewable
energy
is that, it is
clear
Correct your spelling
clean
show examples
energy
, which means it would not create any pollution during
prcessing
Correct your spelling
processing
and
producing
Replace the word
production
show examples
.
Therefore
, using
renewabe
Correct your spelling
renewable
energy
can
make
Verb problem
have
show examples
a positive effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the environment which would not affect our life quality.
Submitted by asllchkied on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are essential for structuring your argument. Ensure the introduction paraphrases the question and outlines the essay, while the conclusion summarizes the main points and gives a final opinion.
logical structure
Develop a clear logical structure by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs: introduction, two or more body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the main idea, and make sure each idea is elaborated with explanations or examples.
supported main points
Support your main points with specific examples or data to add credibility to your argument. Avoid general statements by using specific incidents, studies, or statistics.
complete response
Ensure you fully address all parts of the task. Your response needs to cover both the reasons behind the increasing use of renewable energy sources and whether this trend is positive or negative for the environment.
clear comprehensive ideas
Focus on expressing ideas clearly and comprehensibly. Pay attention to grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Errors can make it difficult to understand your points.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant examples to support your argument. The examples should be directly related to the topic and help to develop your points effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: