In the age of digital communication and social media, face-to-face interactions are becoming less common. Some people think that this is decreasing people's ability to communicate well in person.

Nowadays, with the trend of
of
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
digitalization and social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
, virtual
communication
has
becoming
Change the verb form
become
show examples
more rampant and
as a result
lessening the frequency of person-to-person exchange. Some people believe that
this
phenomenon is lessening our ability to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper
communication
in real
life
. Personally, I have to agree with
this
presumption because the existence of online
communication
makes it easier for us to hide behind our made-up persona.
Moreover
, the contemporary way of
communication
has
also
made us to be desensitized
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
our surroundings. The widespread use of digital exchange means reducing our chance to practice proper
communication
technique
Fix the agreement mistake
techniques
show examples
in our
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
life
and
therefore
our body language is not honed to be inviting to our speaking partner.
Consequently
, it would be harder for us to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
genuine eye contact or notice nonverbal cues from our interlocutors.
As a result
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
, people have poor
communication
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
and may feel awkward when they are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
faced with
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
real
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
life
communication
Additionally
, even though the advancement
technology
Change preposition
of technology
show examples
has made it seamless for us to communicate effectively long distance
wise
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, it
also
presents us with a paradox.
Instead
of building a stronger relationship with those around us, we would rather put a higher priority
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
persons
Change preposition
with that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
whom
show examples
we connect through social media. We have been becoming less sensitive with our community as there is simply no urgency for us to express our care towards them since building connections digitally is easier and oftentimes more manageable than if we were to put
that efforts
Change the determiner
that effort
those efforts
show examples
towards a real, genuine, person-to-person connection. In conclusion, I can attest that the new way of
communication
has been decreasing our ability
in having
Change preposition
to have
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper
communication
. Even though we are blessed to have many available alternatives to connect with our far loved ones effortlessly,
this
new way of living should not hinder us
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
living a genuine connection in real
life
Submitted by zefanyagyu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to connect ideas more smoothly. For example, start the paragraphs with clear topic sentences and follow up with supporting sentences that logically connect to each other.
Task Achievement
Expand on the main points with more detailed examples and explain how these examples support your argument. This will help illustrate your points more clearly and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures and use a mix of complex and simple sentences to demonstrate grammatical range and accuracy. Additionally, proofread to catch and correct any grammatical errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital communication
  • social media
  • face-to-face interactions
  • non-verbal cues
  • emotional intelligence
  • active listening
  • body language
  • facial expressions
  • tone of voice
  • nuanced communication
  • empathy
  • emotional responses
  • geographical barriers
  • misunderstandings
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!