IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the age of digital communication and social media, face-to-face interactions are becoming less common. Some people think that this is decreasing people’s ability to communicate well in person. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

#age #communication #media #interactions #people #people’s #ability #person
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, with the trend of digitalization and social networks, virtual
communication
Use synonyms
 has become more rampant and
as a result
Linking Words
 lessening the frequency of person-to-person exchange. Some people believe that
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is lessening our ability to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper
communication
Use synonyms
 in real life. Personally, I have to agree with
this
Linking Words
 presumption because the existence of online
communication
Use synonyms
 makes it easier for us to hide behind our made-up persona.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the contemporary way of
communication
Use synonyms
 has
also
Linking Words
 made us to be desensitized to our surroundings. The widespread use of digital exchange means reducing our chance to practice proper
communication
Use synonyms
 techniques in our day-to-day life and
therefore
Linking Words
 our body language is not honed to be inviting to our speaking partner.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it would be harder for us to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
genuine eye contact or notice nonverbal cues from our interlocutors.
As a result
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
, people have poor
communication
Use synonyms
 skills and may feel awkward when they are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
faced with
real-
Correct your spelling
real-life
lifelife
Correct your spelling
life life
communication
Use synonyms
Additionally
Linking Words
, even though the advancement of technology has made it seamless for us to communicate effectively long distance
wise
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, it
also
Linking Words
 presents us with a paradox.
Instead
Linking Words
 of building a stronger relationship with those around us, we would rather put a higher priority
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 persons
whom
Change preposition
with whom
show examples
 we connect through social media. We have been becoming less sensitive with our community as there is simply no urgency for us to express our care towards them since building connections digitally is easier and oftentimes more manageable than if we were to put those efforts towards a real, genuine, person-to-person connection. In conclusion, I can attest that the new way of
communication
Use synonyms
 has been decreasing our ability to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper
communication
Use synonyms
. Even though we are blessed to have many available alternatives to connect with our far loved ones effortlessly,
this
Linking Words
 new way of living should not hinder us from living a genuine connection in real life
Submitted by zefanyagyu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint, while the conclusion effectively summarizes the argument without introducing new ideas.
logical structure
Develop a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, using a range of cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs effectively.
supported main points
Support main points with specific examples or evidence to enhance the argument's depth and clarity.
complete response
Fully respond to all parts of the task, ensuring that your position is relevant and well-supported throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Express ideas with precision, making sure each paragraph contains one clear main idea and stays focused on the topic.
relevant specific examples
Use a variety of relevant examples to back your points, making sure they are specific and illustrate the argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: