IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some experts think that universal basic income only makes sense if it provides just enough to survive on so that people still need to work and earn money for living. To what extent do you agree?

#experts #income #sense #people #work #money
For universal basic income to work, it is commonly agreed that the money given needs to be barely enough to fulfil basic needs, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
 still need to have an earning to be able to fulfil their needs.
This
 essay agrees with
this
 opinion, because the world needs
people
 working for it to keep going, and
people
also
 need activities in their lives. The world needs
people
 to keep running. Even with the advancements
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 technology, there are still jobs that are irreplaceable by technologies
such
 as AIs and robots. One of them
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 the healthcare department
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is crucial for our
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
, be it
physically
Change the word
physical
show examples
 or
mentally
Change the word
mental
show examples
. Humans
also
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to have activities in their lives. To have our basic needs fulfilled is not the only reason to work. Even if their basic needs
such
 as food, a place to live, and
such
 are fulfilled, it does not give
people
 the emotional
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 and satisfaction that jobs can give. Having a job would give
people
 something to do and
also
 an opportunity to keep growing and learning. Aside from that, a job would
also
 be a reason for
people
 to do some basic exercise like walking to their workplace which would directly impact their health positively. A recent study shows that
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 and a chance to grow plays a big part in happiness. In conclusion, the money that
people
 get from a universal basic income needs to be kept at a minimum because
people
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
still
needed
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
 to keep working, and
also
 for their own health and emotional benefit.
Submitted by acupofbrownsugar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider linking your ideas more explicitly. Use a wider range of cohesive devices such as 'however,' 'therefore,' or 'consequently.' Ensure paragraphs flow logically from one to the next, clearly signposting where you are discussing advantages or disadvantages.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, ensure you fully address all parts of the prompt. Your essay could benefit from more specific examples and deeper exploration of the implications of a universal basic income. Balancing both sides of the argument before reaching a conclusion can enhance clarity and breadth of your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Universal Basic Income
  • Minimum standard of living
  • Workforce participation
  • Income inequality
  • Automation
  • Job displacement
  • Welfare system
  • Economic feasibility
  • Human dignity
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Innovative ventures
  • Financial implications
  • Ethical argument
  • Non-bureaucratic
  • Economic structure
  • Safety net
  • Financial stability
  • Administrative costs
  • Income disparity
  • Mean-tested system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: