In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

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Nowadays, youths choose to spend more
time
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with their
friends
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rather than accompany their
families
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.
This
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essay will explore the multifaceted reasons and discuss whether parents should make youngsters spend more
time
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at home before arriving at a conclusion. In
this
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hustle-and-bustle society, after
children
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study in school,
friends
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become the most important people that they can rely on. It is widely agreed that
friends
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are the priority that
children
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express their feelings to. One of the most significant reasons is that once youths encounter problems whether academic or emotional,
friends
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are the ones who can help them first.
Furthermore
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, what is obvious is that
children
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can usually make similar age of
friends
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in school because they have close experiences to share their feelings.
As a consequence
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, they believe that
friends
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can relate to themselves more than their
families
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.
On the other hand
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, there has been ongoing debate regarding whether parents have the right to force their
children
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to spend more
time
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with
families
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. It is undeniable that
families
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provide plenty of resources to help
children
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grow up but
that is
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not the reason to restrict their freedom. It is essential for them to decide how to utilize their
time
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. If they choose to spend more
time
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with
friends
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, there is no reason to force them to stay at home.
Moreover
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, some social activities are needy for young people to attend, so they can broaden their horizons and establish people connections that could be useful in the future. In conclusion, it is evident that
friends
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are the first ones
children
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can ask for help in school, so youths opt to spend more
time
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with
friends
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. From my perspective, social activity is equally important in
children
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's development. Parents should not force them to stay at home.
Submitted by seanlin12345 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point is supported by specific examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Be certain that the conclusion encapsulates the argument and doesn't introduce new points.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task and provide a clear answer to the question, while ensuring that examples are relevant and specific to the given topic.
task achievement
Improve the range and accuracy of linguistic structures and vocabulary to enhance clarity and impact of ideas presented.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic commitments
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Technology and social media
  • Peer acceptance
  • Independence
  • Family dynamics
  • Cultural norms
  • Individualism
  • Parental enforcement
  • Family bonds
  • Social development
  • Autonomy versus guidance
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