In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

#times #children #time #families #friends #change #parents #force #home

Nowadays, youths choose to spend more

time

with their

friends

rather than accompany their

families

This

essay will explore the multifaceted reasons and discuss whether parents should make youngsters spend more

time

at home before arriving at a conclusion. In

this

hustle-and-bustle society, after

children

study in school,

friends

become the most important people that they can rely on. It is widely agreed that

friends

are the priority that

children

express their feelings to. One of the most significant reasons is that once youths encounter problems whether academic or emotional,

friends

are the ones who can help them first.

Furthermore

, what is obvious is that

children

can usually make similar age of

friends

in school because they have close experiences to share their feelings.

As a consequence

, they believe that

friends

can relate to themselves more than their

families

On the other hand

, there has been ongoing debate regarding whether parents have the right to force their

children

to spend more

time

with

families

. It is undeniable that

families

provide plenty of resources to help

children

grow up but

that is

not the reason to restrict their freedom. It is essential for them to decide how to utilize their

time

. If they choose to spend more

time

with

friends

, there is no reason to force them to stay at home.

Moreover

, some social activities are needy for young people to attend, so they can broaden their horizons and establish people connections that could be useful in the future. In conclusion, it is evident that

friends

are the first ones

children

can ask for help in school, so youths opt to spend more

time

with

friends

. From my perspective, social activity is equally important in

children

's development. Parents should not force them to stay at home.

Submitted by seanlin12345 on Sat Dec 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each main point is supported by specific examples or evidence.

coherence cohesion

Be certain that the conclusion encapsulates the argument and doesn't introduce new points.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task and provide a clear answer to the question, while ensuring that examples are relevant and specific to the given topic.

task achievement

Improve the range and accuracy of linguistic structures and vocabulary to enhance clarity and impact of ideas presented.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Academic commitments
Extracurricular activities
Technology and social media
Peer acceptance
Independence
Family dynamics
Cultural norms
Individualism
Parental enforcement
Family bonds
Social development
Autonomy versus guidance

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In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future lives. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Topic: Write a opinion paragraph about the benefits of taking online courses

Some people believe that they should keep all the money they have earned and should not pay tax to the state. Do you agree or disagree with the above notion?

In today 's world private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research.Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Although families have powerful influence on children, the influence that comes from outside the family plays a bigger part in children’s development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?