The chart below shows numbers of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#numbers #adults #sports #area #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The bar graph depicts how many adults participated in different major sports in one area between 1997 and 2017.

Overall

, the most dominant participation was gentle walking for each

years

Change to a singular noun

year

show examples

However

, basketball and cricket had the lowest numbers of

participants

in 1997 and 2017 respectively. In 1997, 50,000 adults participated

gentle

Change preposition

in gentle

show examples

walking, demonstrating the highest number of participation. The numbers of adult

participants

in jogging, gym, football and hiking

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

varied between around 33,000 and about 36,000 in 1997.

While

basketball had the lowest participation with just under 10,000 adult

participants

, the figure for cricket was roughly 28,000. After two decades, the number of adults participating

gentle

Change preposition

in gentle

show examples

walking increased by around 5,000

participants

, protecting its domination.

While

the

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

of adult

participants

in football and hiking increased

noticeable

Change the adjective

noticeably

show examples

by approximately 15,000 people, the figure for gym stayed relatively constant at the previous level. Basketball

participants

nearly tripled by 2017,

however

, cricket

participants

decreased dramatically

under

Change preposition

to under

show examples

10,000

participants

at the end

of 2017.

Submitted by historicalpen on Tue Jan 23 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words participants with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 5 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

162 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below shows numbers of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? Do you thinkthis is a positive or negative situation?

The most important consideration while selecting a job or career has a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s very competitive world, a worker has to possess multiple skills to succeed. Among the skills that a worker should possess, Which skill do you think is more important, social skills or good qualification? Explain the reasons and provide specific examples to support your answer.

In recent years, some countries have experienced rapid economic development. This has resulted in much higher standards of living in urban areas but not in the country side. This situation may bring some problems for the country as a whole. What are these problems? How might they be reduced?p

People tend to work longer hours nowadays. Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves, their families and the society so working hours should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree?