The chart below shows numbers of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows numbers of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph depicts how many adults participated in different major sports in one area between 1997 and 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most dominant participation was gentle walking for each
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, basketball and cricket had the lowest numbers of
participants
Use synonyms
in 1997 and 2017 respectively. In 1997, 50,000 adults participated
gentle
Change preposition
in gentle
show examples
walking, demonstrating the highest number of participation. The numbers of adult
participants
Use synonyms
in jogging, gym, football and hiking
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
varied between around 33,000 and about 36,000 in 1997.
While
Linking Words
basketball had the lowest participation with just under 10,000 adult
participants
Use synonyms
, the figure for cricket was roughly 28,000. After two decades, the number of adults participating
gentle
Change preposition
in gentle
show examples
walking increased by around 5,000
participants
Use synonyms
, protecting its domination.
While
Linking Words
the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of adult
participants
Use synonyms
in football and hiking increased
noticeable
Change the adjective
noticeably
show examples
by approximately 15,000 people, the figure for gym stayed relatively constant at the previous level. Basketball
participants
Use synonyms
nearly tripled by 2017,
however
Linking Words
, cricket
participants
Use synonyms
decreased dramatically
under
Change preposition
to under
show examples
10,000
participants
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
of 2017.
Submitted by historicalpen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words participants with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • adult demographic
  • comparison
  • percent change
  • significant increase/decrease
  • trend analysis
  • sports popularity
  • ranking changes
  • general patterns
  • social factors
  • 20-year period
  • time span
  • major sports
  • data interpretation
  • highlight features
What to do next:
Look at other essays: