Some people think that students benefit greatly from going to private secondary schools, but others assert that private secondary schools have a negative impact on the young generation and the society alike. Discuss both views.

Some argue that
students
benefit greatly from going to private educational
institutions
,
while
others assert that private setups have a detrimental
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
on youngsters and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society alike.
This
essay agrees with the former statement to some extent and has covered both views in detail.
Firstly
, few people believe that
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
in private secondary
schools
is more beneficial than government
institutions
due to
various factors. One of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
is
higher
Correct article usage
the higher
show examples
standard of
education
in private
institutions
. One of the study in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
states
Capitalize word
States
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
proved that private
education
institutions
provide more learning
opportunities
to
students
with
extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
show examples
activities which helps them
in developing
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
social skills and
enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhance
show examples
learning capabilities. Private
schools
not only focus on
curriculum
Correct article usage
the curriculum
show examples
of the school but
also
on
extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
show examples
activities and sports which boost student's confidence
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
.
However
, private institutes charge more money than public
schools
which provide almost free
education
to everyone. Because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
is free in public
institutions
,
students
have fewer learning
opportunities
than private
students
.
However
, few researchers argue that youngsters in private
institutions
are less disciplined in comparison to
students
in public
schools
.
For instance
, pupils in public
set ups
Correct your spelling
setups
show examples
are more organised and
displined
Correct your spelling
disciplined
than private
students
. The
eminities
Correct your spelling
amenities
and luxurious Lifestyle in private
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
can be detrimental in the long run.
However
, we can not deny the fact that private setups have more learning
opportunities
which can help in
overall
Add an article
the overall
show examples
development of
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation can learn
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
in
private
Add an article
the private
show examples
education
system
due to
better learning
opportunities
. No doubt, the public institutes provide free
education
but
this
free
education
can cost you the future of your child.
Submitted by sb101tahirgul on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Ensure that you have a clear thesis statement in your introduction. This will guide your essay and make your position clear from the outset.
Paragraph Structure
Work on the structure of your paragraphs. Begin with a clear topic sentence, followed by an explanation, evidence, and a concluding sentence that summarises the paragraph's main point.
Spelling/Grammar
Be careful with spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Errors can hinder the clarity of your ideas and detract from the overall coherence of your writing.
Supporting Points
Develop each of your main points with specific examples. This will help support your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Task Response
Strive to maintain objectivity and balance in your essay by discussing both views. This involves exploring the arguments for each side equally before presenting your conclusion.
Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the flow of your essay while guiding the reader through your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personalized attention
  • Academic opportunities
  • College admission
  • Scholarship opportunities
  • Social inequality
  • Socioeconomic background
  • Social cohesion
  • Elitism
  • Entitlement
  • Educational standards
  • Teacher-student ratio
  • Public schools
  • Diversity
  • Inclusivity
  • Segregation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: