Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?
In our contemporary society, some public are of the view that the
government
is wasting money on the arts and that these fundings could be better spent in other aspects. I support this
statement and will discuss the reasons behind.
On one hand, it is undeniable that art
plays an important role in our daily lives. It represents and symbolises creativity, culture and thinking. Some governments would spend billions to build art
galleries and art
centres. This
is to preserve arts, as well as
to attract tourists. Nevertheless
, the glamorous-looking art
gallaries
and Correct your spelling
galleries
art
centres often attract very few tourists, as compared to museums or the
other iconic buildings. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, I think the government
should not spend extensive amount
of financial budgets on Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
art
.
This
is because those fundings should be better used in more pressing and urgent social issues such
as healthcare
and education
. After Covid-19
pandemic, many countries started to realise the problem with their own Correct article usage
the Covid-19
healthcare
system. For example
, some countries are facing issues like lack
of medical Correct article usage
a lack
team
, hospital beds or advanced Fix the agreement mistake
teams
equipments
. These are the aspects which the Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
government
should prioritise. They could build more hospitals, purchase the most advanced healthcare
equipments
, subsidise vaccines to the public and fund more Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
researches
on critical illness. In term of Fix the agreement mistake
research
education
, the issue that some countries is facing now are that the poor does not have access to the higher education
. The government
should prioritise this
problem as well because the next generations are the hope of the country. The highter
Correct your spelling
higher
education
one can receive, the better job prospects and life goals one can achieve.
In conclusion, I agree with the statement that the government
should focus their findings and budgets on the more pressing social issues like education
and healthcare
system. Perservation
of Correct your spelling
Preservation
art work
can still be done but not spending billions on Correct your spelling
artwork
arts
.Fix the agreement mistake
art
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Coherence & Cohesion
Develop your main points with more extensive supporting detail. This includes providing specific examples that effectively back up your viewpoint, which will strengthen the coherence of the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a clearer logical structure by using a wider range of cohesive devices and transitioning smoothly between ideas. Try to link sentences and paragraphs more explicitly.
Task Achievement
Address the task more completely by exploring both sides of the argument, even if you are taking a clear stance. Acknowledge possible counterarguments and refute them to provide a more rounded response.
Task Achievement
Enhance clarity by offering more comprehensive explanations of your ideas. This may involve breaking down complex thoughts into simpler terms or providing more elaboration.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example