IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineer, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people assert that doctors, engineers and other professionals should have to work only in the
country
Use synonyms
 where they trained.
Whereas
Linking Words
, others say that they should be free to work worldwide if they want. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both perspectives. On one hand, working in their
country
Use synonyms
 where they had an education
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the area of experts is crucial to
develop for medicals
Replace the word
developing medicine
show examples
, education and science. Governments or some companies,
for instance
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, might provide the supply of money for some trainees on a scholarship,
hence
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 supporters of
this
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 argument believe that they must contribute
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their own countries where they
educated
Add a missing verb
are educated
show examples
. Some people in Japan, to illustrate, argue that students who graduated from public
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 should give
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 duty to
this
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, being free to work in
entire
Add an article
the entire
show examples
 world can spread
skills
Use synonyms
 and knowledge.
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Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 some people would return
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 after obtaining more beneficial
skills
Use synonyms
 or new methods not able to do in
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
country
Use synonyms
. Their
skills
Use synonyms
 and experience could benefit
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other countries
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 have unsolved issues
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
themselves
such
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 as medicals or education
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In conclusion, I believe that both arguments have more than enough reasons to assume.
Skills
Use synonyms
 or experience should be used in the
country
Use synonyms
 where they learned,
moreover
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, they should reveal
skills
Use synonyms
 all over the world. We need to try to determine what we are capable of, or where we could be helpful in.
While
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 entering into global society, we should share information or know-how going through other's experiences.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure by organizing your ideas into well-defined paragraphs. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and all sentences within the paragraph should be related to it.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and a conclusion. The introduction should introduce the topic and clearly state your opinion or the point of your essay. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your opinion in a clear manner.
coherence cohesion
Support each of your main points with relevant examples or evidence to strengthen your argument. Avoid being too general; instead, use specific information to illustrate your ideas.
task achievement
Make sure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. The response should cover both views discussed in the question and provide a clear opinion of your own.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully to express a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt. Each paragraph should elaborate on your points, adding detail and depth to your arguments.
task achievement
Use relevant examples to back up your points. Try to use specific instances or case studies that clearly support your view and make your arguments more convincing.
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