IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

in some countries, governments are encouraging industries and business to move to regional areas out side the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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In
this
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 modern era, goods are produced in factories. They are seen everywhere
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 in crowded places.
However
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, public administrations are motivating them to shift to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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places with
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
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 residential buildings owing to various advantages
such
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 as pollution control and
to reduce
Change the verb form
reduced
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 risk of diseases.
Hence
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, the benefits are more than
demerits
Correct article usage
the demerits
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. To commence with, it will aid
to control
Change preposition
in controlling
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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pollution. If factories are closed from the big cities, it will result
into
Change preposition
in
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 less harmful smoke in the
air
Use synonyms
. People can
breath
Replace the word
breathe
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 and get fresh
air
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, it will impact
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
lower noise
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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.
For example
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, In
india
Change the capitalization
India
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, Delhi was one of
polluted
Correct article usage
the polluted
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 shelter
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
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 with
large
Change the article
a large
the large
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 number of industries before
government
Add an article
the government
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 put restrictions and
close
Wrong verb form
closed
show examples
 them. Now, there is a control
in
Change preposition
on
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 noise level.
In addition
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 to
this
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, chemicals and
wastages
Correct your spelling
waste
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of
Change preposition
from
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automobile
Fix the agreement mistake
automobiles
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 places are thrown into water or on land
causes
Wrong verb form
causing
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 harm to animals.
The
Change the article
A
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 large number of animals
were died
Change to the active voice
died
have died
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 after the stuff stuck into their throat.
As a result
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, in order to
safe
Replace the word
save
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livestocks
Correct your spelling
livestock
, businesses must be placed near jungles and hilly spots.
Additionally
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, people are suffering from various
heath
Correct your spelling
health
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 issues like asthma and skin cancers which are caused by machines.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
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, to lower these symptoms shift is essential.
Apart from
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this
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,
for instance
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,
long
Correct article usage
a long
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 time
age
Correct your spelling
ago
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,a city had a
blased
Correct your spelling
blast
 from
a
Change the article
an
show examples
industy
Correct your spelling
industry
 and harmful gas was
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
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 all over in the
air
Use synonyms
 since the day the kids of that place
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 born abnormal. Eventually, the impacts can be seen for
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time so if authorities can stop it before it will be a good illustration for
future
Correct article usage
the future
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.
To conclude
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,
manufacturing
Correct article usage
the manufacturing
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 of consumables and non-consumables
things are
Wrong verb form
is
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 seen in big cities.
Although
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, it is a part and parcel of life
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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we can not deny the cons it has to
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 and society like
air
Use synonyms
, water and land pollution and
impact
Correct pronoun usage
its impact
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in
Change preposition
on
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health
Add an article
the health
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 of humans.
Thats
Correct your spelling
That's
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 why, it is advisable to open them away from residential buildings.

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Task Response
Ensure that you fully address the question by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in a balanced manner. Additionally, provide a clear opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the organization of your ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and all sentences should be logically connected to that main idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more effectively and to help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Task Achievement
While you provided examples, ensure that you include specific and relevant examples to support your points more effectively.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • decentralization
  • rural development
  • urban congestion
  • sustainable growth
  • economic revitalization
  • infrastructure
  • urban sprawl
  • quality of life
  • innovation clusters
  • skilled workforce
  • wealth disparity
  • cultural enrichment
  • relocation incentives
  • regional prosperity
  • environmental impact
What to do next:
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