The only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. What extent do you agree or disagree?
Today
road
Use synonyms
accidents
are increasing Use synonyms
due to
careless driving or disobeying Linking Words
rules
imposed by governments.Some argue that implementing strict Use synonyms
punishments
and imprisonments will be the only way to reduce Use synonyms
offences
Use synonyms
commited
by drivers.I disagree about Correct your spelling
committed
this
phenomenon even if imposing Linking Words
punishments
for driving Use synonyms
offences
can act as a better solution for Use synonyms
offences
Use synonyms
but
other alternatives may Correct word choice
apply
also
be implemented to Linking Words
adress
Correct your spelling
address
this
issue effectively.
Linking Words
Firstly
, imposing rigid Linking Words
rules
on driving Use synonyms
offences
would reduce Use synonyms
accidents
on roads.In fact, it can be noticeable that many Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
cause
Verb problem
are
due
Linking Words
to
careless and drunk driving Change preposition
by
wheareas
many pedestrians Correct your spelling
where
will
suffer serious damages sometimes lead deaths.Verb problem
apply
Therefore
, imposing Linking Words
srtict
Correct your spelling
strict
punishments
would curb Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
offences
Use synonyms
such
as imposing high fines and imprisonments for drivers.Linking Words
For example
, Norway is the country Linking Words
who
has the most strict Correct pronoun usage
that
punishments
for Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
offences
and Use synonyms
whom
has the lowest death rates based on Change the pronoun
who
road
Use synonyms
accidents
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
Linking Words
its
obvious that Correct your spelling
it's
stict
Correct your spelling
strict
rules
can curb the situation, but it would not be the only method to improve Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
safety
.Governments can improve awareness programs to keep people informed about Use synonyms
rules
that need to be followed on the Use synonyms
road
.Use synonyms
In contrast
, governments can start Linking Words
awreness
programs in schools and urbanised cities as it would help students and Correct your spelling
awareness
general
public to learn Add an article
the general
road
Use synonyms
rules
and Use synonyms
consequences
of Correct article usage
the consequences
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
offences
.Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
Correct article usage
the aforemnetioned
aforemnetioned
activities will Correct your spelling
aforementioned
also
enhance Linking Words
road
Use synonyms
safety
.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
Although
strict Linking Words
punishmnets
like high fines and imprisonment would improve Correct your spelling
punishments
punishment
road
Use synonyms
safety
, it would not be the only solution for Use synonyms
address
Wrong verb form
addressing
this
effectively. Linking Words
Politician
and media Fix the agreement mistake
Politicians
coverages
should Fix the agreement mistake
coverage
also
come into practice to aware children and Linking Words
general
public about Add an article
the general
road
Use synonyms
safety
.Use synonyms
Submitted by Praslah on
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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that your essay has clear, distinct paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Connect your ideas with appropriate linking words and phrases to enhance flow and readability.
coherence cohesion
Include both an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay. The introduction should paraphrase the question and present your thesis statement, while the conclusion should effectively summarize your main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific, relevant examples. While you included a reference to Norway's strict punishments and low accident rates, further development of this example and inclusion of additional evidence could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure you fully address the task by thoroughly exploring the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement. Discuss the other side of the argument to a sufficient extent and make your position clear throughout the essay.
task achievement
Present ideas in a clear and comprehensive manner by expanding on them with explanations and examples. Develop your paragraphs fully so that your ideas are fleshed out and clearly articulated.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example