The only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. What extent do you agree or disagree?
Today
road
accidents
are increasing due to
careless driving or disobeying rules
imposed by governments.Some argue that implementing strict punishments
and imprisonments will be the only way to reduce offences
commited
by drivers.I disagree about Correct your spelling
committed
this
phenomenon even if imposing punishments
for driving offences
can act as a better solution for offences
but
other alternatives may Correct word choice
apply
also
be implemented to adress
Correct your spelling
address
this
issue effectively.
Firstly
, imposing rigid rules
on driving offences
would reduce accidents
on roads.In fact, it can be noticeable that many accidents
cause
Verb problem
are
due
to
careless and drunk driving Change preposition
by
wheareas
many pedestrians Correct your spelling
where
will
suffer serious damages sometimes lead deaths.Verb problem
apply
Therefore
, imposing srtict
Correct your spelling
strict
punishments
would curb such
offences
such
as imposing high fines and imprisonments for drivers.For example
, Norway is the country who
has the most strict Correct pronoun usage
that
punishments
for such
offences
and whom
has the lowest death rates based on Change the pronoun
who
road
accidents
.
On the other hand
its
obvious that Correct your spelling
it's
stict
Correct your spelling
strict
rules
can curb the situation, but it would not be the only method to improve the
Correct article usage
apply
safety
.Governments can improve awareness programs to keep people informed about rules
that need to be followed on the road
.In contrast
, governments can start awreness
programs in schools and urbanised cities as it would help students and Correct your spelling
awareness
general
public to learn Add an article
the general
road
rules
and consequences
of Correct article usage
the consequences
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
offences
.However
, Correct article usage
the aforemnetioned
aforemnetioned
activities will Correct your spelling
aforementioned
also
enhance road
safety
.
In conclusion, Although
strict punishmnets
like high fines and imprisonment would improve Correct your spelling
punishments
punishment
road
safety
, it would not be the only solution for address
Wrong verb form
addressing
this
effectively. Politician
and media Fix the agreement mistake
Politicians
coverages
should Fix the agreement mistake
coverage
also
come into practice to aware children and general
public about Add an article
the general
road
safety
.Submitted by Praslah on
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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that your essay has clear, distinct paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Connect your ideas with appropriate linking words and phrases to enhance flow and readability.
coherence cohesion
Include both an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay. The introduction should paraphrase the question and present your thesis statement, while the conclusion should effectively summarize your main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific, relevant examples. While you included a reference to Norway's strict punishments and low accident rates, further development of this example and inclusion of additional evidence could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure you fully address the task by thoroughly exploring the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement. Discuss the other side of the argument to a sufficient extent and make your position clear throughout the essay.
task achievement
Present ideas in a clear and comprehensive manner by expanding on them with explanations and examples. Develop your paragraphs fully so that your ideas are fleshed out and clearly articulated.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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