The planet's population is reaching unsustainable levels, and people are facing shortage of resources like water, food and fuel. To what consequences may overpopulation lead? In your opinion, what measures can be taken to fight overpopulation?

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The human
population
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is
Wrong verb form
has been
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growing
in
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at
show examples
a fast pace over the
last
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years
Correct quantifier usage
few years
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
can generate a lot of bad consequences.
This
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essay will discuss and analyse
possible
Correct article usage
the possible
show examples
consequences of
overpopulation
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and draw some measures that can be taken to resolve
this
Linking Words
problem.
Firstly
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,
overpopulating
Replace the word
overpopulation
show examples
can reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural resources and
rase
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raise
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
violence
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levels
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. As the
population
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grows is natural that humans
starts
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start
show examples
to explore more and more the natural resources.
For example
Linking Words
, Amazon's forest has been suffering a lot
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of destruition
show examples
destruition
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destruction
because of the exploration of its
resourses
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resources
over the
last
Linking Words
years
Correct quantifier usage
few years
show examples
.
Overmore
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Moreover
, the concentration of people
generaly
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generally
leads to higher
levels
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of
violence
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, because of
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
inequality that
this
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situation
promoves
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promotes
. For
instace
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instance
, is common to see higher
levels
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of
violence
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in big urban
centers
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centres
show examples
that
concentrates
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concentrate
show examples
a big
population
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.
Thus
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,
its
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it's
it is
show examples
important to prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
overpopulation
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. In regard to
this
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, there are some possible
mesures
Correct your spelling
measures
that can be taken to fight
this
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movement.
Firstly
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, it is important to
garantee
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guarantee
that the
population
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have access to contraceptive methods,
thus
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they can
evitate
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levitate
to have non desired
pregnaces
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pregnancies
pregnancy
.
For example
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, the government can distribute
condons
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condoms
at
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on
show examples
public transportation.
Secondly
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,
its
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it's
it is
show examples
also
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important to
garantee
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guarantee
that people
knows
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know
show examples
the bad consequences of
overpopulation
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. For
this
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, can
be make
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make
show examples
some
awerness
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awareness
campaings
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campaigns
campaign
about the subject,
for example
Linking Words
,
government
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the government
show examples
can do
TV
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a TV
show examples
advertisiment
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advertising
showing the problems generated by the higher
levels
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of
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
and how to prevent
this
Linking Words
. To
summurise
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summarise
summarize
,
overpopulation
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is an important problem that can lead us to
reduction
Add an article
the reduction
a reduction
show examples
of natural resources and higher
levels
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of
violence
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, but it
also
Linking Words
can be
fighted
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fought
show examples
with some
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
mesuares
Correct your spelling
measures
like
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
campaings
Correct your spelling
campaigns
campaign
.
Submitted by danielejaegger on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay attempted to address the prompt, but it could be improved by ensuring that the introduction more clearly outlines the topics to be discussed. In addition, aim for a clear, logical progression of ideas, with each paragraph focusing on one main idea supported by appropriate examples.
Task Achievement
Expand on the specific examples provided, ensuring they directly relate to the topic and provide depth to your argument. Include more varied sentence structures to add clarity and interest to your discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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