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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Task 1 The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

Task 1 The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
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The graph depicts the data about the proportion of the
population
Use synonyms
 in Asia including
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia lived between 1970 and 2020 with forecasts for
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 2 decades. It is interesting to note
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
that the number
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 who are living in rural areas will rise in all included countries by 2040.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in 1970 the people
lived
Correct pronoun usage
who lived
show examples
 in rural parts of Malaysia consisted
30
Change preposition
of 30
show examples
% of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 but after 5 decades it has increased
over
Change preposition
to over
show examples
 70%, which will grow in the following years too.
Similarly
Linking Words
, people from Indonesia living in cities will grow rapidly starting from its lowest point (10%)
showed
Wrong verb form
showing
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 6 fold increase (60%) in 2020 and
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 trend will continue in 2030 and 2040.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 underwent several fluctuations throughout 50 years until 2020. After 2020 the percentage of city residents will be doubled up to 50%. The
population
Use synonyms
 in Thailand living in cities remained stable with minimal increases before 2020. In 2020 the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 in monopolies
expected
Add a missing verb
is expected
show examples
 to grow by almost reaching half of the whole
population
Use synonyms
.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
What to do next:
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