Successful sports professional can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Professional
athletes
have a
lucrative Correct article usage
apply
salary
across the Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
world
. While
some people
believe that they deserve their income
, others argue that they are able to earn more than they deserve. I, personally
share
the same page Capitalize word
Share
between
the second group. Change preposition
as
This
essay will explain both sides, and highlight there are many employees like doctors,
and scientists Remove the comma
apply
which
should have higher Correct pronoun usage
who
wage
than Fix the agreement mistake
wages
sportsmen
since their occuoancies more
essential for humankind's Correct your spelling
are
survive
.
The proponents of Replace the word
survival
sportsmen
are
deserve their luxurious Unnecessary verb
apply
lifesytles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
lifestyle
argue
that these professionals support their Correct word choice
and argue
countries
' reputation
globally, and in Fix the agreement mistake
reputations
this
way participate a
value in their Correct article usage
apply
countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
appearence
. Correct your spelling
appearance
For instance
, The Olympics are accepted for
many individuals as an essential organization, which provides a tranquil atmosphere to various Change preposition
by
countries
. Thanks to the Olypmics
Correct your spelling
Olympics
countries
can learn others
customs, which is crucial to promote Change noun form
others'
other's
the
sense of unity across the Correct article usage
a
world
. But, another remarkable impact of this
organization is supporting tourism. To clarify, the host country's tourism peaks at that year, since the organization attracts people
's attention. To sum up
, considering the positive impacts of boosted tourism, athletes
are likely to support the income
of their country if they win. For that reason, some people
believe that professional athletes
deserve their lucrative salaries.
On the other hand
, a lot
Add the preposition
lot of
people
argue that their wages are to
high considering their job. There are many Replace the word
too
footbal
Correct your spelling
football
player
across the globe, who show off their luxury cars, and overpriced Change to a plural noun
players
lifestyle
. Despite Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
they
only focus on Correct pronoun usage
their
play
a game, football, they are able to earn more than numerous men and women. Change the verb form
playing
This
group argue
that Change the form of the verb
argued
these astronomical
Change the determiner
this astronomical income
income
should be restricted and be
canalized to more crucial alternatives Unnecessary verb
apply
such
as medicine, or researching
. Change the form of the verb
research
According to
these crowd
, the Fix the agreement mistake
crowds
world
has limited money
, and this
solid foundation should be spent on by
prioritizing the importance of Change preposition
apply
subject
. Add an article
the subject
In other words
, instead
of paying considerable salaries to sportsmen
, their wages should be restricted, and that amount of money
should canalized to more vital job fields like medicine or laws
. Fix the agreement mistake
law
Therefore
, higher
number of Add an article
a higher
the higher
people
may benefitted
from the sources of the Change the verb form
benefit
be benefitted
world
.
Finally
, I personally share the same page with those people
, who argue professional athletes
' income
are
too high. As our Correct subject-verb agreement
is
world
has a large number of problems like fatal diseases like AIDS or cancer, and also
global issues like global warming, the budget of our world
should spend
on solving these troubles. With that perspective, Wrong verb form
be spent
instead
of paying huge amount
of Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
money
to sportsmen
, money
should invest
in scientific research in order to improve Wrong verb form
be invested
people
's quality of life.
To conclude
, while
some people
argue professional athletes
deserve their assertive income
, other
find Fix the agreement mistake
others
this
amout
of Correct your spelling
amount
money
too high. I completely agree with the second belief,
and advocate that Remove the comma
apply
sportsmen
's wages are more than they deserve.Submitted by ilaydailday on
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Introduction
Make sure your introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument and includes a thesis statement that outlines your own opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your ideas logically, with clear paragraphs for each point. Use cohesive devices appropriately to link your ideas.
Task Achievement
Elaborate your main points with relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. Avoid general statements and provide detailed evidence when possible.
Conclusion
In the conclusion, reiterate your thesis and summarise the main points of your argument. Ensure your final stance is clear and directly addresses the prompt.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.