In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
University gives
people
more opportunities to choose a good career, so they feel more satisfied Use synonyms
by
their job, have high salaries and Change preposition
with
the
possibility Add a missing verb
have the
for
improve their education with Change preposition
to
Master’s
degree in the future. Hopefully, they will Correct article usage
a Master’s
also
teach other young Linking Words
people
so that the country remains Use synonyms
success
in the future. Replace the word
successful
Also
, many workers need to have a degree on their CV when they apply Linking Words
to
a job.
Change preposition
for
However
, several young Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
also
take advantage of opportunities to gain valuable Linking Words
experience
in the workplace as soon as possible. Use synonyms
This
Linking Words
mean
they can earn some money and Change the verb form
means
also
get training for their future career. Linking Words
For example
, many companies offer Linking Words
internship
or Fix the agreement mistake
internships
apprenticeship
, Fix the agreement mistake
apprenticeships
such
as engineering companies where young Linking Words
people
can work to learn, Use synonyms
instead
of study. Sometimes the things we learn from real life are more important than books.
Linking Words
Furthermore
, Linking Words
experience
from work is very useful. You can have a more fun life in the office, meeting and going out with colleagues is a good way to improve your sociality. Many Use synonyms
people
meet their friends from their Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
,
but only have a few friends from the university. Often, workplaces have many events, like parties, which may be fun for young Remove the comma
apply
people
.
In conclusion, there are many advantages of university education, but I believe the benefits of workplace Use synonyms
experience
are greater, as they are possible for all and allow young Use synonyms
people
to have awareness and Use synonyms
experience
to earn a good salary from their career.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas flow logically from one to the next, using a wide range of cohesive devices to enhance the clarity of the argument.
task achievement
Develop your main points with detailed and relevant examples. When stating an advantage or disadvantage, elaborate with specific and illustrative scenarios, studies, or data.
task achievement
The essay could benefit from a clearer introduction of the main topic and a more developed conclusion. The introduction should clearly state the advantages and disadvantages that will be discussed, while the conclusion should summarize the arguments and state a clear opinion on the matter.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.