Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

It is argued that
luck
is a common aspect
that is
integrated with someone's process to accomplish their intentions. Even though questioning
luck
might
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
to enhance
people
's
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
, I completely disagree with that view and
this
essay will discuss from
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both sides with my own arguments. A
fortune
is only intended to strengthen the notion of
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
potential. Generally, hearing a
fortune
Capitalize word
Fortune
show examples
is designated to shower its listeners with positive affirmations, since they tend to doubt their ability and overthink about the accomplishment of their
goals
. Take an example from
people
who are going to the
fortune
tellers or
tarrot
Correct your spelling
tarot
readers just to ask their successful rates from doing particular activities. Most of them
are ended
Wrong verb form
end
show examples
up
to hear
Change the verb form
hearing
show examples
good words like, '
you
Capitalize word
You
show examples
will have good grades' or '
you
Capitalize word
You
show examples
can pass the exams'.
Although
that is
good
to boost
Change preposition
for boosting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
self-esteem,
however
, I
completely
Add a missing verb
am completely
show examples
against the idea because hearing a
fortune
only drives
people
to their emotional safety with good affirmations, whilst their ends are still uncertain.
Therefore
,
people
should rely on certain things that can aid them to achieve their
goals
. There are other aspects that must
have been
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
taken into account when someone
compel
Wrong verb form
is compelled
show examples
to achieve their dreams.
First,
the strength of their
prayers
. It is evident that the more
people
recite particular
prayers
over something they want, there is a likelihood that it becomes achievable for them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since doing
prayers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
the most prominent condition when
people
can directly communicate with their own God, The Creator of
this
world.
Second,
their persistent effort. Practice continuously is the key factor
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
who are aiming for their
goals
because they are likely to be well-prepared with various necessities.
As a result
, they become tougher when facing any kind of tests or challenges,
thus
their aims will not be determined by
luck
.
To conclude
,
question
Add an article
the question
show examples
of
luck
is
potentially
Replace the adverb
potential
show examples
can boost individuals' self-esteem during
their
Change the word
the
show examples
process
to accomplish
Change preposition
of accomplishing
show examples
their
goals
.
Nevertheless
, I personally think that other factors,
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the strength of
prayers
and persistent effort are more profound to be considered.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion with clearer transitions and topic sentences to introduce each paragraph's main point.
task achievement
Support each main point with specific examples and explanations to strengthen arguments and make them more persuasive and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
Refine the thesis statement to clearly state your opinion and ensure that each body paragraph consistently supports this stance.
coherence cohesion
Improve the variety and accuracy of grammatical structures and vocabulary used throughout the essay to enhance clarity and coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • diligence
  • consistent effort
  • inherent talent
  • honing skills
  • external factors
  • upbringing
  • social connections
  • economic background
  • right place at the right time
  • contributing factor
  • conjunction
  • success
  • achievements
  • endeavors
  • fortune
  • serendipity
  • determinants
  • efficacy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: