Some peole believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
that travel will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but different
person
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people
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consider that tourism is the only way of protecting
culuture
Correct your spelling
culture
.
This
Linking Words
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essay
esay
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essay
will discuss both sides
Body paragraph 1
That
culture
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will be ruined if it is used to earn
tourims
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tourists
revenue because they
less
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have less
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money
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to buy them so they feel
no
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not
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relax
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relaxed
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for a trip.
Example
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For example
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we want to know more
culture
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in the area but we
less
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have less
show examples
money
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to buy that
culture
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so it will be ruined
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they consider that tourism is the only way of protecting
culture
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because when they
less
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have less
show examples
money
Use synonyms
, they will know
culture
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very
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is very
show examples
improtant
Correct your spelling
important
so they will be protected and learn them seriously.
Example
Change preposition
For example
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when we
less
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have less
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money
Use synonyms
to buy
the
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a
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phone it's very expensive we will be
keeped
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kept
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carefully.
Conclusion
In short,
i
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I
show examples
Correct your spelling
believe
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belive
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believe
show examples
stronger opinion that
culuter
Correct your spelling
culture
will be ruined if it used to earn
tourims
Correct your spelling
tourism
revenue
thuhong.68hnue
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Introduction
Your essay lacks a clear introduction that presents the topic and your thesis statement. Start your essay with an introductory paragraph that introduces the topic, provides some background information, and ends with a thesis statement outlining your position.
Logical Structure
Work on developing clear and logical paragraphs. Each paragraph should contain one main idea supported by explanations or examples. Organize your thoughts into clear and coherent paragraphs with topic sentences.
Conclusion
Ensure that your essay has a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position. Without a proper conclusion, your essay feels incomplete.
Examples
Back up your arguments with specific examples. Your current examples are unclear and do not effectively support your points. Use clear and relevant examples to illustrate your ideas.
Development of Ideas
Your essay would benefit from clear and comprehensive ideas. Currently, your points are not fully developed, and the reasoning is somewhat difficult to follow. Expand your ideas with clear explanations and well-thought-out points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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