Countries spends large amount of money on sports competitions. Do you think the advantages outweight the disadvantages.
A
phenomenon of Correct article usage
The
countries
' huge expenses for sports competitions have
brought various advantages and disadvantages. From my perspective, the drawbacks have exceeded the benefits.
Change the verb form
has
To begin
with, the improvement of athletes' commitment and grit to the nation can be an obvious advantage. For instance
, most of the countries
will have funds allocated for atheletes
' who are able to get medals in well-known sports competitions, Correct your spelling
athletes
such
as Olympic and regional competition
. Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
Thus
, increase
their ambition to bring glory to the nation. Wrong verb form
increasing
Secondly
, the huge amount of expenses can be a great factor in proving the countries
' existence to
the international Change preposition
in
sport
arena. As they will be viewed as big players.
Change the noun form
sports
On the other hand
, the problems arise
bring more harm than good. As a starter, for some unresponsible parties, Correct pronoun usage
that arise
this
can be a huge opportunity to do corruption. For instance
, a few developing countries
often had
faced Unnecessary verb
apply
this
problem with most of the perpetrators got away easily due to
lenient law
. The other disadvantage is in the Fix the agreement mistake
laws
long-run
, it will greatly Correct your spelling
long run
impacted
Change the verb form
impact
country
as a whole, Correct article usage
the country
citizens
will be the most vulnerable. Especially if the money Correct word choice
and citizens
come
from debtors who include interest, the possibility of not paying it on time can be high. Change the verb form
comes
Furthermore
, country
can go bankrupt Add an article
the country
a country
due to
it.
In conclusion, the disadvantages of spending humongous money on sports competitions bring various drawbaks
, including corruption and Correct your spelling
drawbacks
bankrupcy
. Those clearly Correct your spelling
bankruptcy
outweight
the benefits that could be brought.Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs
Submitted by alyarachmadivaa on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure in your essay, ensure that each paragraph presents a clear main idea and that supporting sentences logically follow this main idea. Use a range of linking words and transitions to help ideas flow more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
While your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, make them stronger by clearly restating the prompt's topic in the introduction and summarizing your main points in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments. You could use case studies, statistics, or real-life events that relate directly to the advantage or disadvantage being discussed.
task achievement
Ensure you respond fully to all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic in equal measure. Back up your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages with more detailed analysis.
task achievement
Present ideas in a clear and comprehensive manner by structuring sentences and paragraphs effectively. Avoid overgeneralizations and make your writing more precise through the use of appropriate vocabulary and clear expression of ideas.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to substantiate your points. Examples should be directly related to the advantages and disadvantages of countries spending large amounts of money on sports. Refrain from vague statements and illustrate your ideas with concrete examples.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!