Some people believe that true friendships are becoming less common in today's fast-paced world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons and examples to support your opinion.

In
digital
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the digital
a digital
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age, people gradually forget about many
relationships
around them especially true friendships. That’s why it makes many close
relationships
become looser and looser (loose: lỏng lẻo). In my opinion, I entirely agree with
this
statement and I will clarify several
reasons
for
this
problem. There are some
reasons
that cause
this
situation.
First,
because when we are working in different offices, every company has many different standards about work
such
as many rules and their workloads
also
cause many burdens as well.
Thus
, we will not have enough time to have some meetings with our
friends
and
this
also
cause
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causes
show examples
substantially misunderstand
Replace the word
substantial misunderstandings
show examples
between close
friends
.
Second,
when we have different jobs,
the
Change the word
our
show examples
standard of living
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will change and
hence
, the difference in our lifestyle will make
distance
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the distance
show examples
between many
friends
longer.
Because when
Correct word choice
When
show examples
we are mature, we
would
Verb problem
apply
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have many problems to handle involving living
expense
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expenses
show examples
or personal
tax
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taxes
show examples
. It results in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
changes in plans and decisions and
seperates
Correct your spelling
separates
us from our
friends
.
Final
Change the word
Finally
show examples
, it is rooted in ourselves, because we do not use social media platforms correctly. Those tools help us
in keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
in touch with everyone, so we should use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
for
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
purposes and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not blame those
on
Change preposition
for
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wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
reasons
. In conclusion, we have some bad
reasons
that result in the ending of some
relationships
.
However
, almost those rooted in attractiveness or busy schedules.
Hence
, we need to balance many
relationships
not only friendships, open our minds and change some old opinions.
Submitted by vuhien4397 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting sentences directly relate to that main idea for improved clarity and focus.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Task response would improve by directly addressing the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement throughout the essay, not just in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Illustrate your ideas with more specific, relevant examples to strengthen your arguments and clarify your points.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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