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Band 5

Some people believe that true friendships are becoming less common in today's fast-paced world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#people #friendships #world #support
In
digital
Add an article
the digital
a digital
show examples
 age, people gradually forget about many
relationships
 around them especially true friendships. That’s why it makes many close
relationships
 become looser and looser (loose: lỏng lẻo). In my opinion, I entirely agree with
this
 statement and I will clarify several
reasons
 for
this
 problem. There are some
reasons
 that cause
this
 situation.
First,
because when we are working in different offices, every company has many different standards about work
such
 as many rules and their workloads
also
 cause many burdens as well.
Thus
, we will not have enough time to have some meetings with our
friends
 and
this
also
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
substantially misunderstand
Replace the word
substantial misunderstandings
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 between close
friends
.
Second,
when we have different jobs,
the
Change the word
our
show examples
 standard of living
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will change and
hence
, the difference in our lifestyle will make
distance
Add an article
the distance
show examples
 between many
friends
 longer.
Because when
Correct word choice
When
show examples
 we are mature, we
would
Verb problem
apply
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have many problems to handle involving living
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
 or personal
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
. It results in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
changes in plans and decisions and
seperates
Correct your spelling
separates
 us from our
friends
.
Final
Change the word
Finally
show examples
, it is rooted in ourselves, because we do not use social media platforms correctly. Those tools help us
in keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
 in touch with everyone, so we should use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 for
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 purposes and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not blame those
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
reasons
. In conclusion, we have some bad
reasons
 that result in the ending of some
relationships
.
However
, almost those rooted in attractiveness or busy schedules.
Hence
, we need to balance many
relationships
 not only friendships, open our minds and change some old opinions.
Submitted by vuhien4397 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting sentences directly relate to that main idea for improved clarity and focus.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Task response would improve by directly addressing the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement throughout the essay, not just in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Illustrate your ideas with more specific, relevant examples to strengthen your arguments and clarify your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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