People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable but many traditional values and customs have been lost and this is a pity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In modern society, in order to improve the quality of their lives,

people

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buy a range of items that allow them to live more comfortably. Some

people

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claim that

as a result

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, we have moved too far away from established beliefs and conduct

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apply

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and that

this

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is regrettable.

However

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, I believe that we should take full advantage of the money we earn to enrich our lifestyles

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apply

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and that we should progress rather than

being

Wrong verb form

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stuck in outdated traditions, so there is no cause for regret. It is claimed that consumerism has done harm to our society because the morals upheld by previous generations have been steadily eroded as we have become too focused on our own comfort.

People

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who hold

this

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opinion contend that values

such

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as respect for the institution of the family have declined in importance

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apply

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and that

this

Linking Words

is a shame.

However

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, it is important to remember that many of these so-called values disadvantaged substantial numbers of

people

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For example

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, it used to be believed that women should stay at home, clean the house and bring up children. Now, thanks to

labor-saving

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labour-saving

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devices bought using

salaries

Correct article usage

the salaries

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of hard-working men and women, families have more time together, and surely nobody misses the unfair old societal norms. It is

further

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claimed by some that traditional rituals

such

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as those related to family or social events have become overshadowed by

people

Use synonyms

's desire to acquire new possessions and that

this

Linking Words

is regrettable.

However

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such

Linking Words

customs continue to thrive in so-called consumerist societies. Wedding rituals,

for example

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, have remained unchanged, and of

course

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course,

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newly-weds

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newlyweds

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now receive more gifts than they did in the

last

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– all bought by the proceeds of

people

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's work. Other customs are enhanced by consumer goods

such

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as video cameras and mobile

phone

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phones

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as more

people

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can enjoy traditional events either remotely or after the event.

Therefore

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, nothing is lost and there is no need for regret. In conclusion, traditions have not been swept away by the desire of

people

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to buy things that improve their lives. It is true that some less-desirable societal norms and habits have gone, but their passing is nothing to lament over.

sidneynatasha16Wed Jan 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Provide clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main point you intend to discuss.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more smoothly and to improve the overall flow of your essay.

task achievement

Ensure that you fully address the prompt by discussing both sides of the issue to some extent. While it is alright to have a strong position, acknowledging the counterarguments strengthens your essay.

coherence cohesion

Incorporate a mix of complex sentence structures to showcase your language proficiency.

task achievement

Include more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments and to show a more in-depth understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Remember to proofread your essay to eliminate any grammatical mistakes or typos that could distract from your overall message.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

359 words

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People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable but many traditional values and customs have been lost and this is a pity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. although some of these chanes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this?

ome children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think is a positive or negative develompent?

it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples.

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?