IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#aim #science #people’s #lives
Scientific
research
’s purposes should bring benefit for the
people
 living in societies. I believe that public
research
 should bring back value to the communities who invested in it, but private
research
 could aim for more profit orientation.
Firstly
, researches which funded by the government are funded by the tax. The tax was collected from societies. So, scientists should have an obligation to give back contributions to the
people
 who provide them support.
In addition
, the aims of their
research
 should give improvement to communities.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experimentation on medicine could bring health improvement, or the study of new learning methodologies could give
advantage
Correct article usage
an advantage
show examples
 in education.
While
 the scientific
research
 done by private companies could be more flexible. Since the investment is done by investors, the
research
 would likely aim to gain profit. They have an obligation to the
people
 who give them funds. The
research
 done by private companies doesn’t have duties to give back to communities, but they could bring forward improvement in
people
's lives indirectly.
Although
 the benefits from private
research
 are minimal, because
people
 have to pay for that, it could still bring forward
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advancement in societies.
For example
, the advancement in mobile phones could bring conveniences for the
people
 who could afford
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. In conclusion, the purpose of the
research
 is different for each party, since they have contrasting reasons to give back.
Lastly
, I agree with the aim of science should bring benefit to
Add an article
the
show examples
community, because the scientists are
also
 part of it. They could give back their contributions directly or indirectly.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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introduction
Ensure the introduction clearly presents your viewpoint and outlines the essay structure.
body paragraphs
Work on constructing clear and well-developed body paragraphs that fully elaborate on the main points with specific examples and explanations.
conclusion
Improve the conclusion to summarise your arguments and restate your position more strongly without introducing new ideas.
cohesion
Try to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively to improve the flow of the essay using a variety of cohesive devices.
task response
Make sure your essay comprehensively addresses all parts of the task with a balanced discussion on both public and private research impacts on community life.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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