In future it may be necessary for us to live on another planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now to reseach another planets. Such as mars, to what extend do you agree or disagree?

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It is a
well known
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well-known
show examples
fact that nowadays,
wolrl's
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world's
population is increasing. Many
people
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does
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do
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not have enough
space
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to live.
Therefore
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, part of them believe that we should focus on researching
on
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apply
show examples
another planets
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another planet
other planets
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.
On the other hand
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, plenty of
people
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tend to move away from their
villages
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to the city
while
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villages
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still hold more
space
Use synonyms
to live so, I
disgree
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disagree
on
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with
show examples
this
Linking Words
opinion. Currently, most
people
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tend to move to the cities because
,
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apply
show examples
they do not find
best
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the best
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career
opportuinities
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opportunities
in their
villages
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.
Cosequently
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Consequently
, there are no facilities like water,electricity,
hospitals
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or hospitals
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in rural areas. And
also
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, rural areas still
has
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have
show examples
enough
spaces
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space
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for
man kind
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mankind
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to live.
Due to
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that fact,
government
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the government
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must focus more on developing
villages
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rather than researching on
another planets
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another planet
other planets
show examples
.
For example
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, my village still has more lands that are for sale
to
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at
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cheap prices. But there are no
persons
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people
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to live
since
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with since
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they can not find basic facilities
in
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apply
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there.
Secondly
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, there is no
any
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apply
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other green planet like
earth
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Earth
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. Even though
,
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apply
show examples
we did conduct many
reseaches
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research
still we did not find any life
in
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on
show examples
another planets
Replace the adjective
another planet
other planets
show examples
.
Hence
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, it will be hard for
people
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to adapt
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to these
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these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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of situations.
As humans
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Humans
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need gravity, oxygen and water to live.
For Instance
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, scientists who
had
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have
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been engaged in
space
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missions
such
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as,
moon
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the moon
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are suffering
different
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a different
show examples
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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of
sicknesess
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sickness
sicknesses
after they
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
back to the earth. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the currant
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currant
Correct your spelling
current
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population is abnormally
raising
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rising
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, we must pay attention
on
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to
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the rural areas that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
enough
space
Use synonyms
to live. And it will be
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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of money
hence
Linking Words
, there is no
othrt
Correct your spelling
other
planet
as
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like
show examples
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
in the galaxy.
Submitted by darshanadnj20 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logically structured introduction, which should clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the premise of the question, and offer a preview of the points you will discuss. Additionally, your paragraphs should have clear topic sentences and the ideas should be developed in a logical order.
task achievement
You partially addressed the prompt but did not fully develop a response that adheres to the full scope of the question. You should aim to fully explore and expand on the issue of researching other planets versus developing rural areas, including a balanced discussion of both views if you choose a 'partial agreement' response, and provide a more comprehensive conclusion tying in all your points.
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