IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In future it may be necessary for us to live on another planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now to reseach another planets. Such as mars, to what extend do you agree or disagree?

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It is a
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
 fact that nowadays,
wolrl's
Correct your spelling
world's
 population is increasing. Many
people
Use synonyms
does
Change the verb form
do
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 not have enough
space
Use synonyms
 to live.
Therefore
Linking Words
, part of them believe that we should focus on researching
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
another planets
Replace the adjective
another planet
other planets
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, plenty of
people
Use synonyms
 tend to move away from their
villages
Use synonyms
 to the city
while
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villages
Use synonyms
 still hold more
space
Use synonyms
 to live so, I
disgree
Correct your spelling
disagree
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 opinion. Currently, most
people
Use synonyms
 tend to move to the cities because
,
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apply
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 they do not find
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 career
opportuinities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 in their
villages
Use synonyms
.
Cosequently
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Consequently
, there are no facilities like water,electricity,
hospitals
Correct word choice
or hospitals
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 in rural areas. And
also
Linking Words
, rural areas still
has
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have
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 enough
spaces
Fix the agreement mistake
space
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 for
man kind
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mankind
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 to live.
Due to
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 that fact,
government
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the government
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 must focus more on developing
villages
Use synonyms
 rather than researching on
another planets
Replace the adjective
another planet
other planets
show examples
.
For example
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, my village still has more lands that are for sale
to
Change preposition
at
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 cheap prices. But there are no
persons
Replace the word
people
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 to live
since
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with since
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 they can not find basic facilities
in
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apply
show examples
there.
Secondly
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, there is no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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other green planet like
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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. Even though
,
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apply
show examples
 we did conduct many
reseaches
Correct your spelling
research
 still we did not find any life
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
another planets
Replace the adjective
another planet
other planets
show examples
.
Hence
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, it will be hard for
people
Use synonyms
 to adapt
Change preposition
to these
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these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
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 of situations.
As humans
Correct word choice
Humans
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 need gravity, oxygen and water to live.
For Instance
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, scientists who
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 been engaged in
space
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 missions
such
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 as,
moon
Correct article usage
the moon
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 are suffering
different
Change the article
a different
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kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of
sicknesess
Correct your spelling
sickness
sicknesses
 after they
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 back to the earth. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the currant
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currant
Correct your spelling
current
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 population is abnormally
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
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, we must pay attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the rural areas that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 enough
space
Use synonyms
 to live. And it will be
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of money
hence
Linking Words
, there is no
othrt
Correct your spelling
other
 planet
as
Change preposition
like
show examples
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
 in the galaxy.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logically structured introduction, which should clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the premise of the question, and offer a preview of the points you will discuss. Additionally, your paragraphs should have clear topic sentences and the ideas should be developed in a logical order.
task achievement
You partially addressed the prompt but did not fully develop a response that adheres to the full scope of the question. You should aim to fully explore and expand on the issue of researching other planets versus developing rural areas, including a balanced discussion of both views if you choose a 'partial agreement' response, and provide a more comprehensive conclusion tying in all your points.
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