IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Supermarkets shoul only sell food produced within their own country. What are your opinions about it.

#supermarkets #shoul #food #country
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The illustration presents information about people were travelled abroad in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. It can be clearly seen that all numbers of tourists increased but there were significant differences in the data for each year.
Overall
, the number of
travelers
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travellers
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 from Europe started with the highest the figures change of the five from 1990 and increased to approximately 400
million
 individuals going abroad.
By contrast
, the
amount
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number
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 of humans from
Correct article usage
the middle
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middle
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Middle
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 East started with the smallest change, about 10
million
 in 1990 and ended
with
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at
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 the lowest of
the
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apply
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five, 16
million
 in 2005. The most salient
features
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feature
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 is that in 1990 60
million
of
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apply
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travelers from Asia and the
pacific
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Pacific
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who
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apply
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had an international trip, which
is contrast
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contrasts
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 sharply with the figure of 136
million
 in 2005. The amount of American citizens
the
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apply
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increasing was a rising trend from 1990 and raised to 113
million
 in 2005.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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task response
Your essay does not address the topic provided, which is about supermarkets selling only food produced within their own country. Ensure that you understand and address the essay prompt accurately.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure with an identifiable introduction, body, and conclusion. To improve, begin with an introduction that paraphrases the question, offers a thesis statement, and outlines the main points. Follow with body paragraphs that each focus on one main idea, and conclude with a summary of your arguments and your final opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is confusing, as it does not develop a coherent argument based on the topic. Work on creating distinct paragraphs, each with a topic sentence followed by supporting sentences that relate to the main topic of the essay.
task response
To achieve a higher score, your main points must be well-developed and related to the task. Include specific examples and explanations that support your argument. Since the essay does not pertain to the given topic, revise your content to directly tackle the question of supermarkets selling only locally-produced food.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Local economies
  • Carbon footprint
  • Agricultural sector
  • Nutritional value
  • Food sovereignty
  • Cultural traditions
  • Agricultural diversity
  • Food imports
  • Trade retaliations
  • Economic implications
  • Seasonal produce
  • Supply and demand
  • Sustainable agriculture
  • Consumer choice
  • Global trade
What to do next:
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