Some people believe that success is the result of hard work and determination. Others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

One school of thought holds that persistent

effort

Use synonyms

and a strongly determined mindset are key to

success

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others argue that wealth and

appearance

Use synonyms

determine it.

This

Linking Words

essay will examine both perspectives and conclude that I support the former viewpoint. It is evident that hard work and

determination

Use synonyms

are crucial for genuine

success

Use synonyms

. Chief among the reasons is that entrepreneurs achieve

success

Use synonyms

through persistent

effort

Use synonyms

and strong resolve. They constantly face market fluctuations, financial constraints, and competition.

However

Linking Words

, they continue to move forward with clear goals and

determination

Use synonyms

by refining their strategies, standing up after failures and adapting to new conditions.

As a result

Linking Words

, their

effort

Use synonyms

and resilience contribute to successful and sustainable businesses

as well as

Linking Words

long-term growth.

Similarly

Linking Words

, individuals with a strong work ethic and a firm commitment to

success

Use synonyms

can overcome difficulties in life. Newly graduated teachers often spend extra time preparing lessons, observing senior teachers and seeking feedback to improve their teaching methods. Their

determination

Use synonyms

in teaching enables them to persist through challenges,

such

Linking Words

as managing disruptive behaviours and engaging unmotivated students in class. Over time, teachers with sustained

effort

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in enhancing their professional skills and commitment to educating children will gradually develop competence and confidence.

This

Linking Words

allows them to overcome classroom challenges and achieve long-term professional

success

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, some argue that personal

effort

Use synonyms

may not guarantee

success

Use synonyms

in today’s society, as luck or other external factors may affect the outcomes.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some people claim that financial resources and physical

appearance

Use synonyms

play a more decisive role in determining

success

Use synonyms

. One key reason for

that is

Linking Words

that people consider possessing prosperity and money as living a successful life. They believe high incomes and material possessions show competence and social status.

In addition

Linking Words

, outward

appearance

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as make-up, fashion and physical attractiveness , often provides advantages in social and professional contexts. Well-dressed and attractive individuals may receive positive attention and gain better networking opportunities.

Consequently

Linking Words

, society often equates these external factors with

success

Use synonyms

, regardless of one’s

effort

Use synonyms

and dedication.

However

Linking Words

, defining

success

Use synonyms

in terms of money and

appearance

Use synonyms

can be misleading.

While

Linking Words

wealth and looks may provide temporary benefits, they do not guarantee personal fulfilment or meaningful accomplishments. A wealthy individual who lacks discipline or

effort

Use synonyms

may fail to maintain his lifestyle or achieve recognition.

Likewise

Linking Words

, a person who focuses on outward

appearance

Use synonyms

may struggle to develop personal skills, knowledge and real values, hindering themselves from long-term development. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

financial resources and physical

appearance

Use synonyms

may provide short-term advantages, I firmly believe that lasting

success

Use synonyms

is fundamentally achieved through hard work and

determination

Use synonyms

aesacademyforenglishstudy

Oct 31, 2025

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task response

Task response is strong. It covers both views and gives your own view. To boost score, add more precise examples and a brief steady stance in the intro.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and cohesion is clear. Use more sign words and topic sentences to guide the reader. Break long ideas into shorter parts.

task response

Clear stand and well organised essay.

content

Good use of examples from work life to show hard work and resilience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

430 words

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Some people believe that success is the result of hard work and determination. Others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people nowadays spend a large of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Globalization is creating a world with a single culture and destroying national identity in the process. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? (Steve no copyright)